I cheated on him...


karrie
#31
Exactly Zzarchov.

I know people who think that looking at another woman is being unfaithful.

I know people who date outside their marriage.

What it boils down to is the lines each couple draws. And if she and her hubby hadn't bothered to discuss those lines, they must be a bit naive. But, in the end, the best tell for 'is it cheating or not' is to consider whether you'd be hurt if your partner was behaving the same. If she'd be ticked to come home and catch her hubby having the same sort of webcam convo with a woman, then it's cheating. If not, then her intentions were fine. Only she can really know that.
 
IdRatherBeSkiing
#32
Quote: Originally Posted by gerryhView Post

Not just Bill....my wife and I know people...both man and women...that don't consider oral sex as cheating. Talking on the net.....even net sex...as long as they don't actually meet...it ain't cheating...many many people think this way.

Its not important what they think. Its important what their divorce lawyers think.

If both partners have the same definition, there is no problem.
 
Niflmir
#33
I think, if you can't look your partner in the eye and honestly tell them what you have been doing, you have cheated. Regardless of who you are, and regardless of what you have done.
 
#juan
#34
Quote: Originally Posted by karrieView Post

Exactly Zzarchov.

I know people who think that looking at another woman is being unfaithful.

I know people who date outside their marriage.

What it boils down to is the lines each couple draws. And if she and her hubby hadn't bothered to discuss those lines, they must be a bit naive. But, in the end, the best tell for 'is it cheating or not' is to consider whether you'd be hurt if your partner was behaving the same. If she'd be ticked to come home and catch her hubby having the same sort of webcam convo with a woman, then it's cheating. If not, then her intentions were fine. Only she can really know that.

All of this is just hedging or having your cake and eating it too. People who date outside their marriage probably don't have a marriage that is worth much. I could be wrong but I have seen so many of these so-called free relationships fall apart that I wonder if there was ever any commitment.
 
karrie
#35
Quote: Originally Posted by #juanView Post

All of this is just hedging or having your cake and eating it too. People who date outside their marriage probably don't have a marriage that is worth much. I could be wrong but I have seen so many of these so-called free relationships fall apart that I wonder if there was ever any commitment.

I've seen it work, I've seen it not work, just like monogamy. So I really don't know juan. To my way of thinking, there are simply too many people in the world to look at it on the surface and decide if it 'works' or not.
 
darkbeaver
#36
Quote: Originally Posted by NiflmirView Post

I think, if you can't look your partner in the eye and honestly tell them what you have been doing, you have cheated. Regardless of who you are, and regardless of what you have done.

perfect, I think
 
Zzarchov
#37
I've seen an open marriage in its 25th year, I was a little surprised, but they are happy togethor.

Marriage is about more than sex, they just don't even consider it an important part of being married (not my cup of tea but whatever makes them happy)
 
senorita
#38
Quote: Originally Posted by ZanView Post

You have to wonder though, even if nothing went on, why would someone care what an on-line friend looks like unless they were curious about 'other' things about that person?

so if i asked for your pic, you'd think I was curious about 'other' things .

thanks for all the comments guys.

*Update with my friend. They're not getting along too well, but this time its not the web cam accusations...maybe they just need to work on some stuff...needless to say...relationships are complicated.

It makes me think though. When party A doesnt like a certain action of party B, we tend to bring into the discussion the fact that party A might be insecure. Is it really about insecurity though. What if part A just isnt comfortable with party B getting involved with somebody else.
 
Zan
#39
Quote: Originally Posted by senoritaView Post

so if i asked for your pic, you'd think I was curious about 'other' things .

Probably - unless I thought I knew you well enough to not think that.


Quote: Originally Posted by senoritaView Post

It makes me think though. When party A doesnt like a certain action of party B, we tend to bring into the discussion the fact that party A might be insecure. Is it really about insecurity though. What if part A just isnt comfortable with party B getting involved with somebody else.

I agree. It isn't always about insecurity. It's often just a matter of different boundaries and comfort levels for certain situations.

Sometimes the word insecurity is used inappropriately too. For example, if someone in a relationship does something outside the agreed boundaries of the relationship, they've introduced a breach of trust - paying attention to the red flags that raises isn't necessarily being insecure, it could just be using the ol' noodle.
 
lone wolf
#40
Quote: Originally Posted by senoritaView Post

so if i asked for your pic, you'd think I was curious about 'other' things .

thanks for all the comments guys.

*Update with my friend. They're not getting along too well, but this time its not the web cam accusations...maybe they just need to work on some stuff...needless to say...relationships are complicated.

It makes me think though. When party A doesnt like a certain action of party B, we tend to bring into the discussion the fact that party A might be insecure. Is it really about insecurity though. What if part A just isnt comfortable with party B getting involved with somebody else.

Aren't both the same thing - insecurity based? Is it possible Party A has been doing a little hanky-panky on the webcam? We do tend to be the yardstick we gauge others by.

Woof!
 
gerryh
#41
Quote: Originally Posted by #juanView Post

All of this is just hedging or having your cake and eating it too. People who date outside their marriage probably don't have a marriage that is worth much. I could be wrong but I have seen so many of these so-called free relationships fall apart that I wonder if there was ever any commitment.


and I know of many many "free relationships....open mariages......swinging couples.....who's relationship and marriages are a hell of alot stronger than many "monogamous" or "vanilla" relationships/marriages.
 
no new posts