To pinch or not to pinch, that is the question

To pinch or not to pinch, bums

Cheeky ... Channel 4 news reporter Sue is pinched on the bum

AUGUST 03, 2007
The Sun

Rumpus ... our pre-rumptial agreement

A BUM pinch caught live on TV sparked a police investigation — and now a national debate.

Red-cheeked Sue Turton was shocked when passer-by Rufus Burdett gave her bottom a quick tweak as she reported on the Oxfordshire floods for Channel 4 News.

Police threatened jobless Burdett with a fine but in the end let him off with a caution.

Now Sue’s public goosing — seen by more than 100,000 on YouTube — has ignited a countrywide debate on whether or not the traditional bum pinch is acceptable behaviour.

What for years has been looked upon as harmless fun can now get the perpetrator a police record, fine and even prison.

So, to protect everyone involved, The Sun has drawn a Pre-Rumptial Agreement.

Whenever you feel like expressing your appreciation of someone’s backside, first get them to sign this cut-out-and-keep consent form.

It entitles you to one gentle squeeze of the posterior of whoever signs it.

Both the pincher and pinchee have to sign for it to be binding — and it may save you from getting the sack, being fined or getting locked up in the clink.

We took our Pre-Rumptial Agreement to the streets with models Katkin and Ross to see how people felt about a legally-binding bum-pinch contract.

London trader Oliver Williamson, said: “I think Sue Turton’s reaction was over the top.”

The 21-year-old added: “Obviously no one should be allowed to just pinch anyone’s bum but The Sun’s Pre-Rumptial will clear up a lot of confusion.”

Money grabber ... the televised pinch has
sparked a national debate

Students Emily Williams and Davy Lee, both 16 and from Chelmsford, said: “We enjoyed pinching Ross’s bum.

“It’s a lot easier for a woman to get away with pinching a man’s bum than a man to pinch a woman’s.

It’s just a bit of fun most of the time.”

Andy Winnery, 24, said: “I don’t see these contracts catching on but I’m more than happy to sign one.”

The personal trainer from Kent added: “It’s a sad day when people can’t get their head round a bit of fun.

“Well done to The Sun for doing this. However, I don’t think it’s right for people just to go around pinching people’s bums.”

Libora Kalvarova, 24, from the Czech Republic, agreed with Andy. She said: “It’s very funny, good on The Sun. I didn’t see the news reporter who got her bum pinched but it sounds to me she shouldn’t get so upset.

“These things are just a bit of fun most of the time.”

Air-conditioning engineer Paul Jackson, 30, also thought it was a laugh.

But he said: “I can see why women take offence to having their bums pinched.”

Paul, from Sussex, said: “The other way round is much better though. I enjoyed your model getting a handful of my rump.”

Massimo Sassu, 18, said: “I love it, it’s great you’ve come up with a contract. Hopefully it will stop us boys getting into any more trouble.”

The restaurant worker from London said: “I don’t go around pinching girls bums but I know some lads who’ve been given a slap for it before. I think everyone should carry around a Sun Pre-Rumptial Agreement.”

Donna Terry, a 38-year-old secretary from London, said: “Men going around pinching women’s bottoms isn’t right . . . unless they’re good looking lads of course! I think it’s a good idea to be sure in these situations.”

Bumpole of the Bailey

HERE our own Bumpole Of The Bailey gives us the legal view on the perils of bottom-pinching.
Q: Is it OK to touch my wife’s bottom?
A: Technically, no. Any pinching of the bottom can be seen in law as common assault but in a marriage it may be seen as an acceptable part of a sexual act.

Q: I sometimes jokingly pinch my colleague’s bottom and he is the same sex as me. Is this OK?
A: Pinching any bottom can get you in trouble. You may think they can take a joke but people can suddenly take things very seriously. I would avoid the temptation of a playful pinch and tell a good joke instead.

Q: Is it EVER alright to pinch a colleague’s bottom?
A: It can be. Say for example he or she is a up a ladder changing a light bulb and they fall from the top. You save them by putting your hands up and supporting their bottom. You’d get away with this.

Q: What about any other parts of the body?
A: You can probably put your hands on their shoulders in a friendly way but if you stray near the bottom or other sexual areas you can be in trouble. Keep it to a clap on the shoulders.

Q: What if it’s more of a cheeky cup of the hand instead of a pinch?
A: It can then be sexual assault instead of just assault. Don’t think you are on safe ground if it’s a playful pat instead of a pinch.

Q: What can happen to me if someone takes offence to my bum-pinching?
A: It can range from a slap in the face to suspension from work or being sacked. On a criminal level, you can be prosecuted and face a fine or even imprisonment if the pinch is particularly violent.
Pinching a female stranger's butt is "unwanted sexual touching" and an offence. Not to mention offensive.
I guess it happens in the U.S. but I personally have not encountered it - if I did, I think I would be offended. Have no particular reason or rules but it seems a bit invasive of my space. I would not want my boobs pinched - ergo I would not want my derriere pinched either - not my cheeks on my face - or my nose. (What else gets pinched? ) doh
I'm an old guy......

but if I was with a woman and somebody pinched her butt, I'd pinch his nose.....between my fist and his skull.

It is assault, pure and simple. Questionable between friends in a joking manner, absolutely unacceptable to a stranger.
My experience as a younger guy belies most of what I'd expect to read here. It wasn't an uncommon experience at all to have my bum pinched by a female co-worker in my twenties and early thirties. I thought it was just something that came with the territory. Earlier in my life female sexual aggression seemed to be the norm. You wouldn't know it from the news and media today.
Dreadful Nonsense
A grab *** thread and i'm speechless....
El Barto
Quote: Originally Posted by CuriosityView Post

I guess it happens in the U.S. but I personally have not encountered it - if I did, I think I would be offended. Have no particular reason or rules but it seems a bit invasive of my space. I would not want my boobs pinched - ergo I would not want my derriere pinched either - not my cheeks on my face - or my nose. (What else gets pinched? ) doh

Hey Curio, I'm not a pincher, but love a spank and the way i do it i don't think you'be offended
See his problem was that he never gave her the "what's cookin' good lookin' " wink. And he ain't even a codger.

Seriously though, it's the same old thing. One halfwit takes something harmless and turns it into a huge problem. Then the overly sensitive latch on to it and it gets blown so far out of preportion that it's no longer just a harmless good natured giggle but sexual assault.

Has anyone fainted watching a Benny Hill show?
^ only from laughter...

well, I've only ever pinched one *** that I had no business pinching, and I'm happy to report it was just the ticket to gain entry, heh heh, so I guess I'm batting a thousand in the ***-pinch-in-lieu-of-pick-up-line department.

It happened at the Maple Valley Club Bluegrass Festival outside Lafontaine, Ontario, way back in July 1980, so yeah, there was alcohol involved. I carried on a relationship with that girl for 6 months before she'd had enough of me. lol

Sadly, I'll forever link that relationship with the time John Lennon died.

Sorry folks, didn't me to bring ya down.
Ooops before I get labelled 'Miss Frigid'.... lol

The example given in the topic was 'passerbye / colleague' kind of relationship - in other words people we don't know that well or not at all.

I wouldn't have a problem with a dear friend pinching my rear as a fun joke or as a prank on me -

I guess my reaction would have to do with the 'pinchee'. If I didn't know the person - I would feel invaded.

Same in reverse - I would never personally touch anyone I didn't know well and even then only when it appears to be invited.


Yup - you probably give great spankings two languages...
Do you gush like Jamie-lee Curtis in A Fish Called Wanda when a guy speaks to you in a foreign language?


ElDavo: [sniffs his pits to become aroused] Okayway, ownday ithway ouryay antiespay... it'sway imetay orfay ouryay orningmay ankingspay!

Curiosity (in her best Homer Simpson): mmmmmmmway... ankingspay! *drool* [overzealously presenting posterior]
Last edited by 55Mercury; Aug 4th, 2007 at 09:16 AM..Reason: edited for levity
55Merc lol love yer latin

LOL - ElBarto tried to foil my response a few times in fractured French... it was a hoot.... ribald and funny at the same time...

Then we had the Crazee Chileans last weekend...woo hoo... what turmoil...en Espanol too

Don't gush much at foreign languages - too many in California for them to be a novelty...

Found a cartoon:

Last edited by Curiosity; Aug 4th, 2007 at 09:29 AM..
Quote: Originally Posted by CuriosityView Post

55Merc lol love yer latin

...Don't gush much at foreign languages ...

yeah, me neither, except maybe German. I think it is such a sexual-sounding language, and if I could have a woman speak filthy gutteral low german to me while I wail away on her, that would be the cat's ***!

Quote: Originally Posted by CuriosityView Post

Found a cartoon:


she kinda raised her fist in a wtf glare, but I just said I couldn't help myself and the rest is history... got swallowed hook, line, and stinker!
I see 55 Merc has wandered way down to Germantown to find a date for tonight hahaha
Gute Glückjagd !!

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