lolll Switsof... thank you for the good dad comment... since you're not the first to assume I'm a guy, I'm finally getting around to putting up an avatar of my namesake (her name is actually spelled Zhaan, but I apparently suck at spelling loll) to help dispel the myth that I'm a guy. So thanks for the kudos, but does it still count if I'm a mom and not a dad?
Anyway, regarding the question you posed, I would have to agree that anyone being lectured on the benefits of changing anything about themselves will likely yield anything but the desired result.
It's been my observation and experience that we don't change at the behest of others... even if we actually want to do so. An extreme example of this would be someone who is about to lose everything they value from family to possessions due to an addiction of some sort. No doubt these people have been lectured, implored and otherwise pressured to change their ways. Yet more often than not, change is not seen until something within that person's own experience
impels them into making a change. Of course that something will be different for everyone, but I don't' believe it ever comes in the form of external pressure from someone else.
Teenagers are another good example of this. As parents, we would rest so much easier at night if we could instill the lessons we've learned through experience into our children rather than have them find out the same way we did. Through experience.
So in answer to the second part of your question, I think it would take quite a feat to make it through life without changing or growing in any way. The more we experience, the more we define who we are in relation to what we've experienced... the "ok, I've tried this and I don't like it so I'm not going to be or do this, therefore I must be and do that instead" relativity view of life....
So yes, I can indeed say that I've changed many times over many years who I am, what I believe, what I understand, who I wish to be, and how I act in relation to all of that. Many of the changes came slowly, without a conscious intention applied to making them happen. I would assume that's what we call the maturing process. I don't believe we ever stop that process either... I expect I'll have a much different outlook and set of behaviours in some ways in twenty years than I have now.
The most personal evidence I have of this is in the changes I've seen take place within my own father... a very busy, strict, unapproachable and seemingly remote man through my childhood, it seemed he was abducted by aliens and replaced with an actual human once he became a grandfather. I say that with utmost love and respect btw... because I don't think everyone listens to their experiences and makes the changes that can improve their lives and/or their relationships - for those that do though, while the rewards may be well worth it, it's not always an easy thing to do, to change certain aspects of ourselves in such a drastic way as to make an appreciable difference to oneself or to others in your life. My father seems to have adjusted many of his ways in his latter years. He's let go of things that he has realized don't really matter in the long run... placing his focus on his relationships with his kids and grandkids...something he didn't have the time or possibly the energy for when I was young.
I hope I can say in twenty years that I've continued to grow and adjust as I acquire more life experience, but bringing it back to your original question, I doubt very much any of that will occur at the suggestion of another.
Thank you again for posing this thought provoking question. I think it does all of us a bit of good to engage in this sort of introspection every now and again.
My 2 cents.