Dear Durka:

DurkaDurka

Internet Lawyer
Mar 15, 2006
10,385
129
63
Toronto
This thread is for asking Mr.Durka for advice on all of lifes trials and tribulations. Mr.Durka has studied side by side with the Jo-Jo Psychic Alliance. Please feel free to address your fictional problem and situations to me. If you are not satisfied with my answers, you can consult my middle finger.
 

DurkaDurka

Internet Lawyer
Mar 15, 2006
10,385
129
63
Toronto
What time is it Mr. Durka?
What time would you like it to be Mr.Eh? In the land of Unicorns and Dwrarfs; time is not of the essence. I do sense unfinished business on your part though, do you have a midget in your presence?
 

DurkaDurka

Internet Lawyer
Mar 15, 2006
10,385
129
63
Toronto
I have an itch at the back of my third ear and not one of my 18" tongues can lick it. Whatta I do?
L.Gilbert: Fortunately I have the answer for you. You must seek out the lead singer of KISS. According to ancient legend, he had a tongue which striked fear into mere mortals. They named the Q-Tip after his appendage.
 

DurkaDurka

Internet Lawyer
Mar 15, 2006
10,385
129
63
Toronto
Durka, I need to exercise my convictions. What gym is right?
Tamarin, I have just the work out for you, althought a gym isn't needed.
Tamarin, your work out shall consist of spending an afternoon at Trent University-- in the trans section. You shall value the swiftness of your feet.
 

DurkaDurka

Internet Lawyer
Mar 15, 2006
10,385
129
63
Toronto
Oh, I just happen to have a couple tons I was saving for a special occassion. It's yours. Um, you can always give the Ouzo to one of those Jkdhhbrts. I hear they use it as shaving lotion.
On the topic of shaving lotion, have you ever tasted Aqua Velva?