The Online Disinhibition Effect


temperance
#31
Im just razzing you --
have a great day --
 
eh1eh
#32
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

you're unaware of the facts. My wife just visited me for one week in the middle of a 4-month period apart. Plenty. Believe me

Of course there is the fetal evidence.
 
temperance
#33
Congraulations !!!!!
 
hermanntrude
#34
:0)

thanks. Check the "dinning alone" thread or any one of about 3 others. i've posted a pic from the ultrasound
 
TekJansen
#35
Congrats, Herm!

I am an actor by trade, but I get that out of my system onstage. My mother, my friends, and my girlfriend all agree that I am a really bad liar anyway

I think a little of the road-rage thing can apply. There isn't that subtle communication between us that implies "I went too far" or "I'm sorry" or "I didn't quite mean it that way" etc., so it's easier to fly off the handle.

Btw, nothing wrong with potheadism. Just use water filtration like my doctor told me to.
 
hermanntrude
#36
it's easier to misunderstand, and for some, fly off the handle, but it's also easier to fly back onto it.
 
Curiosity
#37
Mikey
I like it when you are giving of your intellect and use peaceful soliloquies to do so in communicating. You have such a deep side I wish you would let it come out and play more often.... you have much to share.
 
Curiosity
#38
Hermann
So in your enforced celibacy and solo living conditions - is this forum your social outlet? It must be difficult saying goodbye to your wife and child. Maybe it allows you to concentrate on the new workload tho.
 
hermanntrude
#39
I'll be honest with you, this forum is my social life. well, this forum and my msn friends. I tend to ignore my work outside of work hours so there's no extra concentration to be done. I find I generally need a visit every two months or so or I start to lose self-respect and motivation. Sad isnt it?
 
Curiosity
#40
Hermann
Sad temporarily - but it also has an upside - it's called being in love and missing someone.
Nothing like separation to recognize how much two people care to be together.
There are many couples who can't wait to part each day - to their own little other worlds away from their spouse. Now that would be sad. I think boredom is one of the chief complaints within marriage.
 
temperance
#41
That is so true ,you must look forward to seeing each other ,catching up on who's what and rememberinmg each others features ,noticing reasons why you love each other --little things couple who have to deal with evewryday life everyday miss or take for granted

neat
 
selfactivated
#42
Ive seen the worst AND the best of people on line. I was tricked into coming to Virginia by a girl PRETENDING to be a guy , we talked over a year. Come to find out it was my bestfriends old girlfriend that was pissed because we were friends........Biggest favor anyone could EVR do for me. I divorced my ex, moved here got a job, found a home, became indipendent for the first time in my life.

Im the same on or offline.......an open book an open heart and learning to have an open mind. Some cant handle my honesty, if your ticking me off I tell you, If your hurting my feelings I tell you, if I dont like the way your treating me I tell you. I been hurt way to much NOT to live that way anymore. Sometimes my true friends help me see the times to just walk away, and Im learning that too.
 
temperance
#43
It seems some people create these alter ego s / user names with fake lives and everything ,I wonder if it helps heal some miscoming in thier lives? --I dont think it right especially if the are pretending to be in power firgure postions --some people take everything to heart .
 
L Gilbert
#44
Quote: Originally Posted by temperanceView Post

It seems some people create these alter ego s / user names with fake lives and everything ,I wonder if it helps heal some miscoming in thier lives? --I dont think it right especially if the are pretending to be in power firgure postions --some people take everything to heart .

There's probably as many reasons for people doing that as there are people doing that.
 
temperance
#45
I dont really care except for the fact that if youre handing out advice and you have no merit to do so ,people will get hurt and its just not savy ,its like you cant be proud of your own live so you make one up --and frig around with other in the meanwhile
 
L Gilbert
#46
Good point except that if something is true, it's true no matter who said it. For example, I quote various fictional characters.
 
El Barto
+1
#47
Quote: Originally Posted by temperanceView Post

It seems some people create these alter ego s / user names with fake lives and everything ,I wonder if it helps heal some miscoming in thier lives? --I dont think it right especially if the are pretending to be in power firgure postions --some people take everything to heart .

Absolutely right my hair isn't this Spike and you wouldn't get 2 cents for turning me in.
Oh , is that dot a belly button?
 
El Barto
+1
#48
Quote: Originally Posted by L GilbertView Post

Good point except that if something is true, it's true no matter who said it. For example, I quote various fictional characters.

DOH!
 
L Gilbert
#49
And there's one of them. lol
 
talloola
#50
Talking on a forum, such as this one, is quite new for me, first time I participated, is on this one. I started off kind of 'funny', didn't do it very well, it was foreign. I am also learning that
I am getting conversation which I can't get anywhere else, I am interested in many different things,
and I enjoy reading everyone's posts. My husband is not as curious as I am, we have our happy
life together, but on this forum I can actually express the thoughts which I usually keep in my head
and have for many years. And, now I don't have to have conversations with myself, without audio of course, (at least for now). Other than my husband, I don't socialize, with exception
of my family, so, to all my new friends, I'm glad to have met you. I, for some reason, avoid
making personal friends, and have for years, I chat with lots of people in a non personal setting,
that way I don't have to commit to anything.
 
Nuggler
#51
Quote: Originally Posted by CuriosityView Post

Mikey
I like it when you are giving of your intellect and use peaceful soliloquies to do so in communicating. You have such a deep side I wish you would let it come out and play more often.... you have much to share.

Watch out Mikey. She's writing this down.

 
Curiosity
#52
Aw Nug - don't tell him!

Mikey has a way with words - eloquence and deep thought - often he says things in anger which override the underlying brilliance of the point he makes - and I react to the anger instead of what he says....which deprives me of learning from what he writes. I have to re-read his posts a couple of times to get his intent. But I'm not writing things down honest hehe (as I type away).
 
SVMc
#53
I think on a discussion form like this one, for the most part you are going to find that people are more or less who they think of themselves as in their day to day lives. I imagine a lot of us are here because we can get a level of discussion that in daily life in person we either don't see enough "real" people to discuss with or are too busy to nurture those real life discussions.

The other side to consider is where are people not themselves online. I'll admit that when in university it was a fairly popular dorm room (can't study no more) passtime for a group of us to go onto dating sites and make fake profiles. We certainly said and portrayed stuff that we would never do in real life, and made very fake identities. Hopefully most people could see through this and were simply reciprocating but it's unlikely we ever would have acted that way in person. There were no consequences online.

There's an interesting debate now in school bullying, and I'm not sure if the bill that is being proposed is Federal or just here in Ontario, but it addresses school children and cyber bullying. It's just easier for many people to do these things online. That answers the how, not sure it answers the why.
 
hermanntrude
#54
We're all taught as children that there are certain respects and civilities we should pay to people. For instance we shouldn't pretend to be something we're not. It's rude to say "i'm a preist" when you're not. It's downright irresponsible to say "I'm an MD with speciality in cardiology". However, maybe the conditioning that tells us such things only applies to actual real faces and real people. Perhaps those of us who grew up without the internet and came across it in later life, have never entirely realised that there's a real person on the other keyboard with real feelings and deserving of real considerations. Maybe the next generation will have new conditioning, or realise for themselves after going through a "disinhibited" phase that talking to someone on msn is exactly the same as talking to someone face to face and the same cares must be taken to ensure respect and emotions are observed. Possibly the question will be dissolved quickly because real-time video conversations will become the norm?
 
talloola
#55
I can't imagine people pretending they are someone other than themselves, and I would be the
first to 'believe' whatever they say, unless, of course it was preposterous information. I take
people at their word, and if they are giving me the runaround, it really is their problem, it doesn't
effect me at all in the end, as they are only hurting themselves. Have others had experiences like
this, that you know of, and do you think there are some who live a fake internet life
on this board.!!!!
Another thing I am curious about, I wonder, after time has gone by, how many people actually
'meet' others they have talked to on boards such as these.
Last edited by talloola; Apr 18th, 2007 at 12:43 PM..
 
darkbeaver
#56
I've thought about this for awhile and can say that I'm rather more inhibited by the medium than what I am face to face. The reasons are simple, the facial and body message is completly missing and we must rely on written words alone to communicate so normally I would depend on my body language to deliver a great deal of my message I can't do that here, I have to modify the delivery in an attempt to curb passions. I consider this medium a fine tool to practice diplomacy. In an attempt to communicate I have to reach out with words only and I have to be careful not to turn off the target completely,which represents failure. To effective communicate you must remain engaged, you cannot do that if you destroy the target. I wish I were a better student of language, as anyone can see from my pathetic construction and apauling spelling improvement is unlikely to happen quickly if at all.
If I want to continue here I must compromise and cooperate and gain the tolerance of the group, this is cooperation/socialism. It would be easy to sucumb to disinhibition and quickly find myself outside the group, outlawed and isolated. So the inhibition is important to maintain and I am accutely aware of it's importance at all times while I'm here. It's important to think before you press the submit button. There are many intelligent people here, anyone of them can if they're so inclined with words tear the very skin from my body if they were so inclined, thank the stars they've spared me thus far. Of course I'm so dull I can't be sure they haven't already done it many times hehehehe.
I think inhibition here is a good thing but disinhibition is also a good thing, the balance that ensures survival is theeee thing.
 
L Gilbert
#57
I always thought you expressed yourself adequately, Beav. You keep us amused, me anyway. Sometimes even when expounding your Red Manifesto.
 
Curiosity
#58
Hahaha Talloola - you are such a great person to read.... when I saw that post my first thought is: Hell who would want to be me and have my life? hahaha

I will reveal something truthful about me tho...hehe....I really do love ice cream!

There was a long time group at the old Telus forum where I got my first notches as a forum member - fighting all the time before I realized you don't get anywhere fighting...but I also made some tight friendships - there were some BC Alberta folk who used to meet at a restaurant on a weekend - I think in Vancouver or somewhere halfway..... one guy gave me his cellphone number I was able to phone them and at least have a chat in person.... they are all scattered on different forums....but for years we exchanged pictures, pet pictures, kid pictures, and made some nice friendships which I think for many still continue.
Last edited by Curiosity; Apr 18th, 2007 at 02:20 PM..
 
talloola
#59
Quote: Originally Posted by darkbeaverView Post

I've thought about this for awhile and can say that I'm rather more inhibited by the medium than what I am face to face. The reasons are simple, the facial and body message is completly missing and we must rely on written words alone to communicate so normally I would depend on my body language to deliver a great deal of my message I can't do that here, I have to modify the delivery in an attempt to curb passions. I consider this medium a fine tool to practice diplomacy. In an attempt to communicate I have to reach out with words only and I have to be careful not to turn off the target completely,which represents failure. To effective communicate you must remain engaged, you cannot do that if you destroy the target. I wish I were a better student of language, as anyone can see from my pathetic construction and apauling spelling improvement is unlikely to happen quickly if at all.
If I want to continue here I must compromise and cooperate and gain the tolerance of the group, this is cooperation/socialism. It would be easy to sucumb to disinhibition and quickly find myself outside the group, outlawed and isolated. So the inhibition is important to maintain and I am accutely aware of it's importance at all times while I'm here. It's important to think before you press the submit button. There are many intelligent people here, anyone of them can if they're so inclined with words tear the very skin from my body if they were so inclined, thank the stars they've spared me...

Quote has been trimmed, See full post: View Post
I find you anything but 'dull', and your wit and quickness of expression is very enjoyable, and I look forward to your posts.
 
L Gilbert
#60
Quote: Originally Posted by talloolaView Post

I can't imagine people pretending they are someone other than themselves, and I would be the
first to 'believe' whatever they say, unless, of course it was preposterous information. I take
people at their word, and if they are giving me the runaround, it really is their problem, it doesn't
effect me at all in the end, as they are only hurting themselves. Have others had experiences like
this, that you know of, and do you think there are some who live a fake internet life
on this board.!!!!
Another thing I am curious about, I wonder, after time has gone by, how many people actually
'meet' others they have talked to on boards such as these.

I have a friend over here who does this constantly, according to him he's been all over the planet fixing everything from helicopters to problems with massive hydroelectric projects. His family has been around here for at least a hundred years and so have other families. Trouble with Bud's stories is that memebers of other families say he's rarely been out of BC and has only ever been as far as Alberta. We were discussing that one time saying he's a good fella because he only ever tells lies about himself and he's funny. He happened to hear that and spouted, "So I'm a legend in my own mind?" He got a good laugh outta that.
So no-one really cares whether he's done what he says including him. He's got a good imagination, is a fair to good mechanic, and is entertaining.
As far as forums and chatrooms go, the longer people post, the more their character shows anyway, right? If they have a good character and are entertaining, who cares whether they tell lies about themselves?

I don't like ice cream that much, but I do like sherbet a lot. Lime sherbet the most.
Curio, sherbet's better than ice cream.
 

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