(Jehovas... post a 'no solicitors' sign, problem solved. Silly people with all the dramatic ways of trying to keep them away make me laugh, now, on to break in stories)
The first break in story happened at my mom's house when I was younger. It was an unusual sort of night, since my little brother had been out partying with friends, my sister and her then fiance were in visiting and had gone out with friends, and my dad was working late. As a result, the back door was left unlocked, which never happens.
When my dad came home from work, the house was dark, and he tripped over the pile of shoes crowding their back entrance as he locked the door to head to bed. He commented to mom that someone must have had an extra friend crash the night, because there was a really big pair of shoes in the already crowded entrance. But, neither really thought anything of it, and went to sleep.
When mom woke up the next morning, she headed out to the kitchen to make my dad's lunch, as usual. She flicked on the lights, and had to stifle a scream. There was a man lying on the love seat, in the living room across from the kitchen, fast asleep. She stood there, staring down at this man, trying to figure out who he could belong to. She finally woke dad, who had walked past this person the night before, not seeing him because the lights were out. He had no idea who it was. So, they woke my sister, to ask if he belonged to them.... no. They woke my brother... no. As the four of them stood around staring at this man, the idea flickered through their heads that perhaps he was one of my friends, but ruled that out as uncharacteristic. Finally, dad sent everyone to mom's room to lock themselves in. He stood at the couch, and rapped the man on the foot.
Buddy slowly gets up, takes a look around and says....
"Oh s---t.... am I in the wrong apartment?"
Dad just burst out laughing. Yeah, slightly the 'wrong apartment', since they live five blocks from the nearest apartment buildings, in a big house. Buddy got up, sheepishly asked if he might bum a smoke from dad, and then headed on his merry way.
The funniest part of all was mom, who was wracked with guilt for being such a bad hostess as to not offer him any breakfast or a coffee before sending him out into the cold.
My second story happened here. I live in a small acreage community, down in the river valley. We lock our front door, but our back door only gets locked when my husband is away, and we're asleep at night. There's only ever been one break in down here, in the last 20 years. It's very peaceful, and the neighbors watch out for one another (thus, the unlocked back door so that the neighbors can come in to feed our animals if we were to not be able to make it home for some reason).
One time, when my hubby was away, I did my usual routine, locked up the whole house nice and tight (I never feel safe alone for the first little while he's gone), and was feeling pretty safe as I headed off to bed. But, as I started to drift off, I heard a rattle. I jumped up, and my dog went balistic. She tore down to the basement, barking at the window. I grabbed the phone, a knife, and headed down to check it out.
I headed back up to my room, nerves slightly jangled, and tried to lie down again.
Dog freaks again, and off we go again. I checked out all the windows, nothing. I scanned the yard. Nothing. No wind, no branches near that window. Nothing.
By this point, my dog is in hysterics, and I'm feeling more than a little ridiculous. I ponder calling a neighbor, but there's nothing to report, other than a rattling window. My dog and I both barely slept a wink that night. She paced, and I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, my ears straining for the slightest noise.
Morning came, with no more rattles. Nothing to indicate anything had been amiss.
My mom phoned to chat, and as I was on the phone with her, I headed down to do some laundry. I turned around, screamed, and dropped the phone.
There, at my window, wings spread wide, attacking his own reflection was a male ruffed grouse. Rattle, rattle. I laughed my **** off.