DarkBeaver I need your advice, I have a problem.


Sassylassie
#1
Well Beav, here's my problem and yes it's real and I'm not being a Drama Queen. Well it seems my back yard is now home to a pack of Rats, a Raccoon, a Skunk, and one street over we have two dens of Coyotes.

Here's the problem, you being a Beaver and all, how do I get rid of them with out causing them harm? The neighbours German Shepard got sprayed two days ago by the Skunk, it was an unprovoked attacked the dog was just having his evening pee-pee. Is this Skunk a racist? The rats ate a hole the size of a foot ball in my shed, now there's nothing in there to eat but there is a jar with gas for the chain saw. Do you think their sniffing? The Racoon is pregnant but I'm not sure who the father is. Said Raccoon is living under the neighbours deck that boarders her pool. We tried moth balls but the Raccoon gave us the finger and threw the moth balls at us. The Coyotes are eating local cats and Farmer Dill found one of his cows with half it's tail missing. We're not sure if the missing tail was for food or a ritual sacrafice.

So Beaver please advice Sassy on how to procede humanly on ridding herself of these unwanted pest?

P.S. The above story is true, although a little exaggerating taken place.
 
Finder
#2
where do you live sassy!
 
Said1
#3
Quote: Originally Posted by Sassylassie

We tried moth balls but the Raccoon gave us the finger and threw the moth balls at us. .

A squirrel on my street did that to me once.

Raccoons are so cute until they get all defensive and start hissing at you.
 
Jay
#4
I've had raccoons as pets.
 
Finder
#5
Quote: Originally Posted by Jay

I've had raccoons as pets.

*steps away from you slowly* riiiiight
 
Jay
#6
It's true....we got them as babies and raised them. They make great pets for the first year or so then they tend to just leave. I lived in the country then....
 
Curiosity
#7
Somone hit a possum last nite....at least it wasn't skunk - they can smell up our whole neighborhood.

This morning it was strewn all over the street - gagged my way to work.
 
darkbeaver
#8
Quote: Originally Posted by Sassylassie

Well Beav, here's my problem and yes it's real and I'm not being a Drama Queen. Well it seems my back yard is now home to a pack of Rats, a Raccoon, a Skunk, and one street over we have two dens of Coyotes.

Here's the problem, you being a Beaver and all, how do I get rid of them with out causing them harm? The neighbours German Shepard got sprayed two days ago by the Skunk, it was an unprovoked attacked the dog was just having his evening pee-pee. Is this Skunk a racist? The rats ate a hole the size of a foot ball in my shed, now there's nothing in there to eat but there is a jar with gas for the chain saw. Do you think their sniffing? The Racoon is pregnant but I'm not sure who the father is. Said Raccoon is living under the neighbours deck that boarders her pool. We tried moth balls but the Raccoon gave us the finger and threw the moth balls at us. The Coyotes are eating local cats and Farmer Dill found one of his cows with half it's tail missing. We're not sure if the missing tail was for food or a ritual sacrafice.

So Beaver please advice Sassy on how to procede humanly on ridding herself of these unwanted pest?

P.S. The above story is true, although a little exaggerating taken place.

That's a real collection of wildlife, you are a lucky person if thier is that much diversity in your niegbourhood it means that it is safe for you to live there as well, I don't see what the problem is, get a camera, stay away from the dog it's dangerous. The coyotes will provide predator balance, I think you got a nice slice of nature going there.
 
cortez
#9
personally i think your are consulting the wrong cancon member--

clearly you need the mogz--john boy utah---tired canadian soldier axis to get over there to first shock and awe them with a few bunker busting bombs followed by raids on their dens--mind the skunk puppies
then
ship the survivors off for interogation

but you better be carefull--expect a lot of collateral damage and maybe even some friendly fire
 
Said1
#10
Quote: Originally Posted by cortez

personally i think your are consulting the wrong cancon member--

clearly you need the mogz--john boy utah---tired canadian soldier axis to get over there to first shock and awe them with a few bunker busting bombs followed by raids on their dens--mind the skunk puppies
then
ship the survivors off for interogation

but you better be carefull--expect a lot of collateral damage and maybe even some friendly fire



You guys kill me.


Sassy, send them to my house next. Just tell them to call first. I hate when people just show up. Very rude.
 
cortez
#11
ha i kill me!
 
Said1
#12
You can use that if you want.
 
cortez
#13
i would only use it on you
its a very strange saying
it has a weird syntax to it i cant explain it
did you make it up
 
Said1
#14
It's an Alf original. I'm funny, but I'm not THAT funny.
 
cortez
#15
yes you are funny
and you have great taste in alf quotes
and by the way could you please stop shooting at my right shoulder its beginning to hurt
 

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