Sign on the dotted line, please:


Haggis McBagpipe
#1
I want everybody here to sign this. Or else!

"I, __________________________, a fine upstanding (yet occasionally bad as hell) member of this forum, do solemnly swear upon the kitchen sink and sundry other items, to remember, at all times, just one thing before posting: these people are my friends. I might yell at them, I might throw an empty beer can at them, I might even throw day-old spaghetti at them if they're (choose one) . . . *^&*(#^# right-wing . . . *#@$(%&#*(@& left-wing, but I'm not going to attack my friends in a genuinely vicious manner from this point on. May Haggis strike me dead if I do, for being dead will certainly be better than what she has in mind for me in the torture rooms if I don't sign and comply."

Signed in fear and dread,

_______________________________
 
missile
#2
Opening a vein as I type this Signing in blood makes it more official
 
FiveParadox
#3
I, FiveParadox, a fine upstanding (yet occasionally bad as hell) member of this forum, do solemnly swear upon the kitchen sink and sundry other items, to remember, at all times, just one thing before posting: these people are my friends. I might yell at them, I might throw an empty beer can at them, I might even throw day-old spaghetti at them if they're (choose one) . . . *^&*(#^# right-wing . . . *#@$(%&#*(@& left-wing, but I'm not going to attack my friends in a genuinely vicious manner from this point on. May Haggis strike me dead if I do, for being dead will certainly be better than what she has in mind for me in the torture rooms if I don't sign and comply."

Signed in fear and dread,

FiveParadox
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#4
Excellent! I want to keep this near the top, so everybody can sign. C'mon, gang, sharpen those pens and get to signing. You don't even want to know the fate of those who don't. It's so awful that I have nightmares about it.
 
I think not
#5
I would have to contact my lawyer first, my daddy always told me to watch where I put my signature and *cough*.
 
FiveParadox
#6
Delays are most unacceptable!

Off with his head!
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#7
ITN, you see, when your daddy said to 'watch out' he wasn't thinking that you might have some, ahem, problems watching much of anything once you emerge from the torture rooms. It's a bit tricky, you see, and although Five is exaggerating terribly when he says 'off with his head', truth is certain items ON the head might be off, if you get my drift, heh heh. . . .
 
Jay
#8
Ya, Iím with ITN on this one....I will have my lawyers look into it, and present any changes that need to be made. :P
 
I think not
#9
Well, wouldn't it be nice if the moderators gave a good example and sign it first?
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#10
Oh absolutely, I sign it, with all my heart. May I strike me dead if I fail in this endeavour, and if I am sent to the torture rooms, may I serve my tea to myself extra strong, the way I don't like it, to teach me a most severe lesson. Maybe, as additional torture, may I serve myself non-chocolate biscuits to go with the overly strong tea. That'll teach me!

The Hag

PS Yes, I want the mods to sign as well, absolutely.
 
I think not
#11
I, I Think Not, a fine upstanding (yet occasionally bad as hell) member of this forum, do solemnly swear upon the kitchen sink and sundry other items, to remember, at all times, just one thing before posting: these people are my friends. I might yell at them, I might throw an empty beer can at them, I might even throw day-old spaghetti at them if they're (choose one) . . . *^&*(#^# right-wing . . . *#@$(%&#*(@& left-wing, but I'm not going to attack my friends in a genuinely vicious manner from this point on. May Haggis strike me dead if I do, for being dead will certainly be better than what she has in mind for me in the torture rooms if I don't sign and comply."

Signed in fear and dread,

I Think Not


There.
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#12
Excellent! Thank you. This group, signing here, have my utmost regard and respect, and will earn Haggis Bucks, usable for discounts at music stores everywhere. Haggis Bucks are valid on the second Tuesday of every week.
 
zoofer
#13

"I, ___Zoofer, LPGA_______________________, a fine upstanding (yet occasionally bad as hell) member of this forum, do solemnly swear upon the kitchen sink and sundry other items, to remember, at all times, just one thing before posting: these people are my friends. I might yell at them, I might throw an empty beer can at them, I might even throw day-old spaghetti at them if they're (choose one) . . . *^&*(#^# right-wing . . but I'm not going to attack my friends in a genuinely vicious manner from this point on. May Haggis strike me dead if I do, for being dead will certainly be better than what she has in mind for me in the torture rooms if I don't sign and comply."
Z. LPGA
Signed in fear and dread,


It is a no brainer Haggis. The ultra leftwing Commies are nobody's friends. The "Comrade" label is misleading.
 
Cosmo
#14
I,Cosmo the Confused, a fine upstanding (yet occasionally bad as hell) member of this forum, do solemnly swear upon the kitchen sink and sundry other items (ok ... here's the true test ... I sign on my shoe collection!!!), to remember, at all times, just one thing before posting: these people are my friends. I might yell at them, I might throw an empty beer can at them, I might even throw day-old spaghetti at them if they're (choose one) . . . *^&*(#^# right-wing . . . *#@$(%&#*(@& left-wing, but I'm not going to attack my friends in a genuinely vicious manner from this point on. May Haggis strike me dead (or even worse, confiscate my shoes) if I do, for being dead will certainly be better than what she has in mind for me in the torture rooms if I don't sign and comply.

Signed in fear, dread and protection of all that is holy (shoes),
Cosmo

PS ... Is mooning a torturable offence??

 
zoofer
#15
Cheeky Cosmo!
:P
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#16
Quote: Originally Posted by Cosmo



Man, that is the most torturable emoticon ever, you get an extra 50 lashes AND all shoes taken away for a week AND rubber flip-flops left as your only tootsie attire.
 
Jay
#17
Quote: Originally Posted by Haggis McBagpipe

I want everybody here to sign this. Or else!

"I, __________________________, a fine upstanding (yet occasionally bad as hell) member of this forum, do solemnly swear upon the kitchen sink and sundry other items, to remember, at all times, just one thing before posting: these people are my friends. I might yell at them, I might throw an empty beer can at them, I might even throw day-old spaghetti at them if they're (choose one) . . . *^&*(#^# right-wing . . . *#@$(%&#*(@& left-wing, but I'm not going to attack my friends in a genuinely vicious manner from this point on. May Haggis strike me dead if I do, for being dead will certainly be better than what she has in mind for me in the torture rooms if I don't sign and comply."

Signed in fear and dread,

_______________________________

Ok, I will sign a modified version....
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#18
Quote: Originally Posted by Jay

Ok, I will sign a modified version....

Let us see your modified version (I'm guessing our Jay wants the torture room time to be a feature, not a bug, in the contract)
 
Jay
#19
Quote: Originally Posted by Haggis McBagpipe

I want everybody here to sign this. Or else!

"I, __________________________, a fine upstanding (yet occasionally bad as hell) member of this forum, do solemnly swear upon the kitchen sink and sundry other items, to remember, at all times, just one thing before posting: most of these people are my friends. I might yell at them, I might throw an empty beer can at them, I might even throw day-old spaghetti at them if they're (choose one) . . . *^&*(#^# right-wing . . . *#@$(%&#*(@& left-wing, but I'm not going to attack my friends in a genuinely vicious manner from this point on. May Haggis strike me dead if I do, for being dead will certainly be better than what she has in mind for me in the torture rooms if I don't sign and comply."

Signed in fear and dread,

_______________________________

 
Haggis McBagpipe
#20
I didn't see your signature, Jay!

As for your minor correction, all of the people on the forum might not be your friends, true, but the ones that aren't are like the second cousins and such, the ones that show up at all the family reunions, the ones you have to be nice to because otherwise you know you'll get it.
 
Jay
#21
I'm a reasonable man, Haggis....but I need that minor modification for my own peace of mind. Newbie trouser snakes just haven't earned the right to be labeled as friends exactly (as was proven recently) others who aren't newbies may not be friends as such either.
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#22
Remember, the newbies, et al, would all sure like to go camping with you too, just like ITN.

Besides, you can always simply ignore those ones, the ones that you secretly aren't very keen on. Ignore as opposed to deliberately baiting, I mean.
 
Sassylassie
#23
[=""]
Quote: Originally Posted by Haggis McBagpipe

I want everybody here to sign this. Or else!

"I, Sassylassie, a fine upstanding stunning lovely woman(yet occasionally wonderous) member of this forum, do solemnly swear upon the kitchen sink and sundry other items, to remember, at all times, just one thing before posting: most of these people are my friends. I might yell at them, I might throw an empty beer can at them, I might even throw day-old spaghetti at them if they're (choose one) . . . *^&*(#^# right-wing . . . *#@$(%&#*(@& left-wing, but I'm not going to attack my friends in a genuinely vicious manner from this point on. May Haggis strike me dead if I do, for being dead will certainly be better than what she has in mind for me in the torture rooms if I don't sign and comply."

Signed in fear and dread,
SassyLassie
_______________________________

[/quote]
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#24
Am dragging this puppy up to the forefront. Jay? Jay? Wherefore art thou, Jay? Get out that rusty pen and sign zee papairs. And DarkBeaver, my god, I felt sure you'd've signed by now.

Am making notes of people not signing. It's gonna get brutal in here. Just Plain Brutal.
 
cortez
#25
Quote: Originally Posted by Haggis McBagpipe


"I, _cortez_________________________, a fine upstanding (yet occasionally bad as hell) member of this forum, do solemnly swear upon the kitchen sink and sundry other items, to remember, at all times, just one thing before posting: these people are my ONLY friends. I will yell at them, I will throw an empty beer can at them, I will even throw day-old spaghetti at them if they're . . . *^&*(#^# right-wing . . . *#@$(%&#*(@& , but I'm not going to attack my friends in a genuinely vicious manner from this point on. May Haggis strike me dead if I do, for while I am dead I shall not enjoy the immense pleasures that Haggis has in mind for me in the torture rooms if I sign and comply."

Signed in fear and dread,

_______________________________

 
cortez
#26
oops I forgot to sign---er---Cortez
 
cortez
#27
hell no i wont sign
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#28
Ha, too late! You're as good as signed, and if I say so it is so, so there.
 
Sassylassie
#29
Pist for you sceptics, I modified the wording and no one noticed. Cleaver no.
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#30
Arghhhh, no quibbling of contracts allowed! Triple tsk to you, Sassy!
 

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