Good ideas on life


peapod
#1
Okay lets hear your good ideas on life, I have picked up some dandys cruising the net..some I keep and use, others...delete key :P

1. BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the egg into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60 mph. After 3 miles, phone home and tell them to take the egg out the pan.

2. DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

3. DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements. My favorite :P
 
peapod
#2
Fine.. nobody has any eh?? well, here is one of my favorites and honestly I actually tried it out...coz I usually have pistachios hanging around...yum! Its got to be real quiet tho when you try this out, and maybe smoke a big fattie....and sure enough the clippity cloppity of tiny horse feet, same thing as listening to shell for the ocean...its all in your head :P especially if you just smoked a few puffs off a fattie.

BANGING two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching
 
Ocean Breeze
#3
Quote:

. DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements. My favorite

love this one. And it WORKS. ......


speaking of doggie doo.(turds).......gotta go and walk the doggies..


later...
 
GreenGreta
#4
If you are very careful, you can sneak the pistachio nut out of the shell and have a "clam". With this clam and a bunch of clammy friends, you can have the gayest freaking puppet show you'd ever want to have. Don't forget the googly eyes.....
 
Twila
#5
Quote:

3. DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements. My favorite

hmmm. To bad the hubby went and bought a shredder! I'd have prefered a dog myself.....this might have been a fairly decent point for myside!

Quote:

BANGING two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching

a very small horse indeed! lmao. Course I'm wondering how many were smoked before the "discovery" of this?


Good Ideas on Life:
Always smile. No matter how maddening the other person is...keep smiling. They'll think that either you know something they don't (and should) or that your certifiably insane. Either is good.

Scarcasm is your friend. It keeps the stupid people from loitering (they just think your mean) and keeps the more intelligent people on their toes. Plus it's fun as hell!

Pets. If a person has a cat that loves them or is loved by a cat (not necessarily their own) they are 100% trustworthy. If your dog doesn't like them they're are 100% NOT trustworthy.
 
Ocean Breeze
#6
"Don't sweat the small stuff"..
 
Twila
#7
Ocean, you forgot the rest of that....

Don't sweat the small stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff....
 
Summer
#8
Quote: Originally Posted by Twila

Good Ideas on Life:
Always smile. No matter how maddening the other person is...keep smiling. They'll think that either you know something they don't (and should) or that your certifiably insane. Either is good.

Heheheh... That's why I do it.

Quote:

Scarcasm is your friend. It keeps the stupid people from loitering (they just think your mean) and keeps the more intelligent people on their toes. Plus it's fun as hell!

Exactly! And it's good metal exercise.

Quote:

Pets. If a person has a cat that loves them or is loved by a cat (not necessarily their own) they are 100% trustworthy. If your dog doesn't like them they're are 100% NOT trustworthy.

My cats agree with you.
 
Ocean Breeze
#9
Quote: Originally Posted by Twila

Ocean, you forgot the rest of that....

Don't sweat the small stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff....

thanks Twila........... dang, didn't know there was more...
 
Ocean Breeze
#10
Quote:

Quote:
Pets. If a person has a cat that loves them or is loved by a cat (not necessarily their own) they are 100% trustworthy. If your dog doesn't like them they're are 100% NOT trustworthy.

and my cats/dogs agree on this.
 
peapod
#11
Twinks... I am telling you...try it its really true, but close your eyes first, before you begin *clopping* the pistachios... What was dat did you hear it a teeny weeny whinnie
IMAO!


LADIES - An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator

bwhhahahahhaahaha
 
Summer
#12
Uh, no thanks on the cheap vibrator!
 
peapod
#13
Can we kinda skip the warm fuzzy dr. phil stuff and just get right to the tatters and meat...dat being the funny stuff. Thanks in advance



WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains.
 
Twila
#14
Quote:

WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains.

K, well it's not precisely Dr. Phil type stuff, but if you spill red wine, white wine WILL remove the stain.....

I'm just sayin....


Good Ideas for life:

The 5 second rule does not apply to public sidewalks. No matter what!
 
Summer
#15
Sorry, but if I see Dr. Phil around here, somebody's gonna get hurt!
 
sj007
#16
how about failure to use puntuation thts always a good one in making urself understood pea
 
peapod
#17
Indeed mini me...good one

Which reminds me of me bedtime story last night...When dat old mother west wind had just come down from them dare purple hills, and turned out loose her childern merry lil breezes, yes one is named ocean those merry breezes like to dance across the green meadows. Anyhos...twas a great story an adventure of old mr. toad...(no not my X :P )...anyhos its about mr. toad music sac, of which none of the critters in the green meadows knew aboot...anyhos...I came across somethink in dat story for you 007

* clear throat*

Never think that you have learned, all there is to know, dats the surest way of all ignorance to show...
 
sj007
#18
wow pea some of tht spelling was almost as good as my own
 
MMMike
#19
Quote: Originally Posted by sj007

wow pea some of tht spelling was almost as good as my own

Don't sweat the spelling... it dunnint even matter - check this out:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thguoht slpeling was ipmorantt
 
peapod
#20
not bad for a conservative
 
zenfisher
#21
Quote: Originally Posted by MMMike

Quote: Originally Posted by sj007

wow pea some of tht spelling was almost as good as my own

Don't sweat the spelling... it dunnint even matter - check this out:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thguoht slpeling was ipmorantt

:P Amazing
 
Ocean Breeze
#22
Quote: Originally Posted by zenfisher

Quote: Originally Posted by MMMikeQuote: Originally Posted by sj007wow pea some of tht spelling was almost as good as my ownDon't sweat the spelling... it dunnint even matter - check this out:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thguoht slpeling was ipmorantt :P Amazing

Quote has been trimmed
indeed. Has to be some kind of code or system..

(can you imagine how he talks??
 
MMMike
#23
Quote:

indeed. Has to be some kind of code or system..

Its ncoeon cdoe saepk, so you 'letefis' wno't even see us cmoing. The riolutevn is uopn us!
 
Summer
#24
Here on the south side of the border, we'd point to that and call it a triumph of the "No Child Left Behind" system....
 
manda
#25
Kids can keep you young or cause you nothing but grief, If you suffer the latter, take the time to look at the world through their eyes, and remember what you are missing.

Everyone should try to waterski at least once. Memories of the water dribbling out of your nose, or the wicked wedgie from your fall (and you will fall!) will cause giggles when you think of it for years to come
 
Ocean Breeze
#26
Quote: Originally Posted by Summer

Here on the south side of the border, we'd point to that and call it a triumph of the "No Child Left Behind" system....

good one ,Summer....
 
Andygal
#27
Good ideas for life.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat.
 
GreenGreta
#28
I wanna go waterskiing......
 
Twila
#29
Quote:

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat.

Normally I'd agree with the sentiment here....but today I feel like it'd be much more honourable to be a rat then a human....rats don't lie...rats bathe....rats aren't malicious and have been known to look after their own....rats don't whine.

I'd like to hop off this soap box of misanthropy but it seems a bit of a fall and I'd hate to get injured.
 

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