Manda why do my shoes do this?


GreenGreta
#1
Ok, this is for Manda I think.

Sometimes, Manda, totally sober, I am walking around. Sometimes, I am at work, and sometimes I am at home. Sometimes, I am wearing sandals, sometimes I am wearing these chunky heels things I have. Ok, are you with me so far?

Why, Manda, do I suddenly, for no reason that I can see (no grapes on the floor, banana peels, water, NOTHING) do I go sliding and flying across the room, hallway, kitchen counter, ceiling? Sometimes I almost fall on my ***, sometimes I can flail wildly and collect my balance. However, this is very unfun for me, also can be extremely embarrassing.

Please help....
 
Reverend Blair
#2
It sounds to me like you may be possessed, Greta.
 
peapod
#3
Come to think of it, I did see ocean over at the "house" doing something with a doll made out of bat dung The blood curdling chuckle was scary Now that greta brings this up, the doll did seem to resemble her perhaps yur slipping and sliding might have something to do with a certain breeze around here
 
MMMike
#4
The neocons did it.
 
peapod
#5
Are you saying that the neocons were trying to look under greta mini mini mike figures....perverts hiding under the guise of religion

Bwhahahahhahaaha
 
GL Schmitt
#6
Did you do all of your falling in the sandals, in the chunky heels, or in both?

I had a pair of hard, thick soles which I nicknamed my "falling shoes."

When the bottom of the sole turned on a stone, or an edge of the curb, it twisted my ankle. It was somewhat like being balanced on skates, when you weren't expecting it.

Finally, I threw them away, and haven't fallen since.




KNOCK! KNOCK!
 
GreenGreta
#7
both the shoes and the sandels. But I have not yet fallen, just the sliding for now.
 
manda
#8
Check for dog turd remenants stuck in the creases of the shoes...It can throw just about anyone off balance. :P

Have you purchased theses shoes from one named Dorothy...who happens to have a dog named toto? The shoes may be trying to go home

And of course, a voodoo doll isn't out of the question either...Ocean??????

The shoes may also be possessed and trying to pull you into their vortex, Whatever you do, don't go behind the dryer....the socks will aid the shoes!!!!!!!

Then again, you may just be sloshed..or so sloshed that you think that you're sober

Shoes are sneaky little things
 
peapod
#9
I put my money on sloshed :P
 
GreenGreta
#10
I just returned from taking my shoes to a far away field. I left them to fend for themselves.

If my shoes knock on the door tonite, I am running screaming to Ocean's house. It could only be Ocean's fault.
 
manda
#11
Quote: Originally Posted by GreenGreta

I just returned from taking my shoes to a far away field. I left them to fend for themselves.

If my shoes knock on the door tonite, I am running screaming to Ocean's house. It could only be Ocean's fault.

It would have to be...she's a sneaky one :P don't answer the door, the shoes mayfind recruits!!!
 
GreenGreta
#12
I hear ya knockin, but you can't come in. (Weird, I actually heard the song today)
 
manda
#13
LOCK THE WINDOWS...and put down the shrooms!
 
GreenGreta
#14
K I'm on the 3rd floor, I should think they can't get to the windows. Sadly, I didn't pick up the shrooms, were they in the field? Did I miss em?
 
manda
#15
I think you must of sucked some up when crouching in the tall grass, hiding from the shoes.

don't think that they can get to the third floor? Just you wait....sleep with a light on tonight!!!!!!
 
Andygal
#16
never underestimate the power of shoooooeeesss. They are going to get to you and they are going to gnaw your ears off.
 
manda
#17
In my experience, they seem to be out to get the toes and heels more....blisters and pinching and such, thong sandals love to knaw between toes though
 
Twila
#18
I have an issue with shoes also. Mine is different in that I don't fly across the room in them. Rather mine cause me to trip over the carpet. Or bare floor. I thought it may have been the dust bunnies ganging up on me. but I now suspect it might be the shoes.......

I once also tripped on the wall. Mind you it was the corner of the wall. It was disturbing. And hard to explain to my boss who happened to witness it. What I do know is it's not me. Really.
 
manda
#19
Ahh, but the dust bunnies have been known to work with the shoes and socks...beware!

as for the wall thing...many possiblilities, but you may want to ensure that Ocean doesn't have a voodoo doll of you as well!
 
Twila
#20
Quote:

but the dust bunnies have been known to work with the shoes and socks

I'd heard they'd formed a union.....I thought it was just more conspiracy talk!!! Drat!!!
 
manda
#21
and let's not forget the House Hippos! they're the ringleaders!
 
Twila
#22
House hippos. I completely forgot about them. Might be the cause of their colaborating with the bunnies! Sheesh!
 
manda
#23
I heard them chanting "we will not be ignored" one night... scary stuff really
 
GreenGreta
#24
I think I actually should have got rid of the shoes.

I wiped out on my friend's driveway today and really really hurt my knee. No seriously, it really hurt.

On a brighter note, I live in Southern Ontario, it is November 5th and I was wearing sandals, still. Sandals, man, that's pretty SAWEET. Of course, the wind picked up since then and now you can't even really go outside or you'll blow away.

But yeah, my knee hurts.
 
manda
#25
did you ice it? or drown the pain with beer, I reccomend a combo treatment, after you stop the bleeding

How are you feeling today?
 
GreenGreta
#26
I did none of the above. I went online and complained about it, that cures all ills.

Today is a SAWEET day. Got sent home from work. woo hoo
 
manda
#27
Got sent home from work...man that would be frickin sweet. Me, I have a four day weekend approaching, I look forward to it. In the meantime.....I have to have the kids up and out the door so that we can be at work for 8 am....yuck
 
GreenGreta
#28
ewww
 
manda
#29
Yeah...and it's not like I can roll out of bed for a gentle start either...my bed is that high, I'd smash my head on the floor and give myself a concussion....hey, theres a reason to stay home
 

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