Quote: Originally Posted by Twila
Manda, my ex was a real *******. He believed that the way you won an arguement was to hurt the other person. Argue til you make them cry.
I found myself sucked into all kinds of arguements. I actually became violent (beat him with the cordless phone). What's weird is that my daughters father (my other ex) and I never fought like that when we were together or when we broke up. I've never been the violent type. This guy would back me into corners and threaten to kill my cat. It was the most insane relationship I'd ever had.
I found myself being a completely different person. When we broke up he told me to throw out his stuff if he didn't come and get it by a certain date.
The date came and went and I held onto the stuff for a month after that date. He owed me $200 and I was hoping to get the money back.
I ended up taking the stuff to the dump. Except for his family photo's (I took those to his P.O office) Wouldn't you know he'd show up 2 days after? Wanting his stuff. Didn't have my money.
He'd stop by wanting to use the phone and try to talk to my daughter. At first I let him. But he'd tell her stuff like "your mom's becoming quite the ****, eh? Or if I had company over he'd make comments about my sexual preferences to them in front of my daughter.
Sometimes you can't be friends. We started out as friends. He was a great friend before the relationship. I don't know what happened. I'd never experienced that before and certainly haven't after. I think maybe we were like gasoline and fire. Explosive!
Like I said, with us...we were friends, then dated and were engaged for a year and a half before we got married. He didn't like that I had lots of friends, male and female, and felt that I should not spend so much time on University papers etc, after we got married. He didn't want to take me to find a new car when my old one died, he liked to know where I was at all times...
As I look at this I would like to add that he does have good points, and is wonderful to his new girlfriend, i guess that he felt that I didn't need pampering. I'm a lot smaller than her too, so a lot of my guy friends would kind of watch out for me if we were out and some guy would hit on me. the ex didn't like people hitting on me, but he didn't like these guys watching out for , or being around me at all. I guess he had trust issues...mixed with a little possesiveness and controlling.
He was looking for me to turn into someone like his mom I think. My failing is that I couldn't compromise who I am or ask him to either. I just couldn't be the wife he needs, and he can'e be the husband I need. Unfortunately we didn't learn that until we struggled to make it through 5 very rough years of marriage
Now he acts like a jackass, but I think that there are outside influences speaking though him too