Teenagers! Sheesh


Twila
#1
I often call my house to check my answering maching while I'm at work.

I tried this today but it kept ringing busy. I'm thinking I'll have a message on my machine just as soon as they finish leaving it.

I call back 5 minutes later. Still busy. Must be a good message

5 minutes later again I call back. Still busy. Must be a juicy message! Should be a good one.

Call back. Still busy. I'm starting to worry now. Maybe it's an emergency. Maybe I should just stop calling and head home and check it from there.

Try one last time.....phone rings......someone picks up. What!?! nobody is suppose to be home! It's definately my number I called. It sounds like a teenage girl......can't be my daughter... She's at school. But wait.....after repeat hello's I get hung up on!

My daughter at the tender age of 13 has decided to skip school....I head home, thinking I'll found out just what is going on. Receptionist tells me "she won't be there. She's probably half way back to school now" I head home anyway.

I find evidence in the computer room at home.....a pink cigarette size lighter....on the floor.....nothing else is amiss except my bedroom phone is downstairs.....bar stools out of line....upstairs bathroom light is on.......

I call my daughters high school........Find out that she missed 1st block....but attendance for the rest of the classes isn't in and won't be expected in until the end of the day.....

So...I now have a REAL teenager...who skips and has a pink lighter for either lighting cigarettes or joints. Great! Marvelous!

I think I'd like to return her now and get a dog instead......
 
Dr Caleb
#2
When you confront her about it, be sure to add that you believe there were other people there too (where else did she get the cigs?). And add, you think it was a boy. After she denies it then ask "Then why is your shirt on backwards?".

When she looks - Busted! Works every time.
 
Twila
#3
Pea, I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of revelation yet. I think babysteps are what I need to be taking right now. It was a stunner to discover she'd skipped school!

She just called to ask if she could go to her friends house. I said no. I asked who answered the phone at home. She says I don't know. I ask if she'd skipped school today. She says no. I say I found a lighter at home. She say "you found a lighter" I say someone anwered our phone at home. She say's someone answered the phone?.

She usually calls me at about 3:00pm. Today she called at 2:45pm. She's a funny duck. Lying does not come easily to her. Thank god!

She's right now sweating and worrying and scared and wondering what I'm going to do about this.

What's funnier is I'm not going to get mad at her. I'm not going to blow up or anything. She will be grounded for the weekend, but told that if she needs a "personal day" then just let me know before taking it without letting me know.

I still want to trade her for a dog though.
 
peapod
#4
it must be the avatars...
 
galianomama
#5
yeah, these kids....well, my kids all skipped school. in fact they skipped more than they were ever there. but, they turned out fine, and i would 'suggest' they go to school once in awhile. but don't worry twila, they all turned out great.
 
Reverend Blair
#6
I never had any kids because I figured I didn't want to spend half my life fishing them out of pool halls and lending them money to buy cars to wreck.

I'm glad that Doc wasn't the father of any of my girlfriends when I that age...that would have spoiled all my fun.
 
peapod
#7
Of course mine is role reversal...even after all these years my mother still comes to my place and rifles through my papers, read my mail, snoops all over the place. I can't seem to convince her that she is no longer in a postion to ground me :P
 
Twila
#8
I never really gave much thought to the teenage aspect of parenthood before my daughter was born.

I have no idea how my parents survived me! My dad's balding and what hair he has left is grey. I'm to blame for that I'm sure.
Quote:

yeah, these kids....well, my kids all skipped school. in fact they skipped more than they were ever there. but, they turned out fine, and i would 'suggest' they go to school once in awhile. but don't worry twila, they all turned out great. Cool

thanks Cosmo for the reassurance. I just was so not expecting her to do this. I don't know why I wasn't expecting her to do this. I don't know why I was shocked she did it. It's funny but sometimes I forget that she is just like every other teenager......I forget because she's mine......But then the little...darling....goes and reminds me that she is human. Dang her!
 
peapod
#9
okay twila what kind of smoke are you smoking first you call dr. caleb pea, now you call galaniomama cosmos
 
Twila
#10
Sorry! oh my god! I can't believe I did that.

I think the problem is not WHAT I'm smoking but what I'm NOT smoking.

My daughter is killing the small amount of working brain cells I had left. Yep, It's her fault. All of it!

Again, I apologize for that. I have no idea what is wrong with my brain.....bad brain...bad brain!

I will have to take some medicanal chocolate see if that helps
 
peapod
#11
Twila no need to apologize its the first good laugh I have had all day...funny how the the Dr and I have the same avatar...I only keep mine a week or so..there a big wide world of avatars out there ya know :P I can't find my first one I had here tho...a smoking ape named zirra...ehm...yes and charlie has been inquiring about the speckled goose in your avatar..I think he has taken a shine. See even the paper one have a wandering eye
 
tibear
#12
Twila,

Welcome to the world of teenagers. I remember the day when my son insisted he wore his jock to during a hockey game. It was helarious, I was looking directly at the jock sitting on the floor by a chair behind him repeatedly asking him if he had worn his jock. He reassured me that he had worn it. When I pointed out the fact that the jock was indeed exactly where I had seen it a couple of days before he STILL insisted that he had worn his jock but someone must have stolen it out of his bag. So to this day, we aren't sure how someone else's jock found its way into our home!

Wait until, she decides to start signing your name to school documents. That's always a fun time.

My have really good kids, just sometimes their brains slip out of gear. I believe that most teenagers have their own Holy Trinity(Me, Myself and I). If it doesn't affect them directly, it doesn't exist. Most of them outgrow it, however some never do and go through life with apathy for anyone around them.
 
Twila
#13
Thanks Tibear,

That jock story is hilarious!

For the most part my daughter is usually very good. Her heart is very very big. I believe she got this from her fathers side of the family. Unfortunately she tends to wear it on her sleeve.

When she was about 5-6 I had to teach her how to be selfish! She was giving away all her things. Toys money, whatever. I remember thinking I must be the only mother in the entire world who has to teach her child NOT to share all the time!

She also was the only child in the world who wanted to go to bed! Weekends would come and I'd ask her to stay up late with me watch some movies, and then we could sleep in late......by 9:00pm she was begging to go to bed!

She is a weird one!
 
tibear
#14
Twila,

Count yourself lucky that you have a daughter. We have a teenage son who I'm sure eats just as much as the rest of us put together. The kid is 6 feet tall, eats constantly and still weighs about 150 lbs.

I have many other stories about children, probably can think of a couple regarding myself as well. I remember the time when my son's school sent a box of chocolate home to sell, we sold about half the box and I told him to return the rest to school. We get a phone call about a month later asking us for a cheque for the unsold chocolate. I told them my son had returned the chocolate and was informed that "No, we have no record of that." When confronted he of course denied everything until we found empty chocolate boxes under his bed, hidden in the closet, deep in his desk, etc. I'm still not sure if he's finished paying for that debt.

The best we can hope for is that they don't fall into the wrong crowd and start doing stupid things that will end up ruining their lives. Keep the line of communication open at any cost. We're lucky in that we spend alot of time talking to our children, many parents have problems with their kids in this regard.
 
Dr Caleb
#15
No little bundels of joy yet Rev (the court case is still pending) But my Dad and Uncle were the kind to sit on the porch with a shotgun in the lap while their daughters were out on a date. So, for everyone's viewing pleasure, I present:

DADDY'S TEN RULES OF DATING

Rule One:

If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:

I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:

It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: "early."

Rule Six:

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:

As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car.

Rule Eight:

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or Anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka-zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:

Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:

Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a sand dune in Iraq. When my Depleted Uranium Syndrome starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car-there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
 

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