Things to say at work on stressful days


Twila
#1
1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unscrew you.

2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.

3. Well this day was a total waste of make-up.

4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?

5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.

6. Do I look like a people person?

7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.

8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?

11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.

13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?

14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet.

16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.

17. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.

18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.

19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

21. Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done.

22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

23. You look like crap. Is that the style now?

24. Earth is full. Go home.

25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty-bitty ego?

26. I'm not tense, just terribly alert.

27. You are depriving some village of an idiot.

28. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!
 
Twila
#2
1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unscrew you.

2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.

3. Well this day was a total waste of make-up.

4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?

5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.

6. Do I look like a people person?

7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.

8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?

11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.

13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?

14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet.

16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.

17. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.

18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.

19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

21. Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done.

22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

23. You look like crap. Is that the style now?

24. Earth is full. Go home.

25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty-bitty ego?

26. I'm not tense, just terribly alert.

27. You are depriving some village of an idiot.

28. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!
 
Twila
#3
1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unscrew you.

2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.

3. Well this day was a total waste of make-up.

4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?

5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.

6. Do I look like a people person?

7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.

8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?

11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.

13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?

14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet.

16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.

17. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.

18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.

19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

21. Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done.

22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

23. You look like crap. Is that the style now?

24. Earth is full. Go home.

25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty-bitty ego?

26. I'm not tense, just terribly alert.

27. You are depriving some village of an idiot.

28. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!
 
Jay
#4
29. OK I'll try to be nicer, if you'll try to be smarter.
 
Jay
#5
29. OK I'll try to be nicer, if you'll try to be smarter.
 
Jay
#6
29. OK I'll try to be nicer, if you'll try to be smarter.
 
Twila
#7
Hey, good one!

my all time favourite is:

100,000,000 million sperm and your were the quickest one?
 
Twila
#8
Hey, good one!

my all time favourite is:

100,000,000 million sperm and your were the quickest one?
 
Twila
#9
Hey, good one!

my all time favourite is:

100,000,000 million sperm and your were the quickest one?
 
EmmaDibbs
#10
I love the I'm not inflatable one!! Classic
 
EmmaDibbs
#11
I love the I'm not inflatable one!! Classic
 
EmmaDibbs
#12
I love the I'm not inflatable one!! Classic
 
Canadian Observer
#13
May the lice of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the persons who ruined my day. And their arms be too short to scratch.
 
Canadian Observer
#14
May the lice of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the persons who ruined my day. And their arms be too short to scratch.
 
Canadian Observer
#15
May the lice of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the persons who ruined my day. And their arms be too short to scratch.
 
HockeyBabe
#16
Quote: Originally Posted by Canadian Observer

May the lice of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the persons who ruined my day. And their arms be too short to scratch.

omg!! that was great! I love that one and I shall start saying it! :P
 
HockeyBabe
#17
Quote: Originally Posted by Canadian Observer

May the lice of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the persons who ruined my day. And their arms be too short to scratch.

omg!! that was great! I love that one and I shall start saying it! :P
 
HockeyBabe
#18
Quote: Originally Posted by Canadian Observer

May the lice of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the persons who ruined my day. And their arms be too short to scratch.

omg!! that was great! I love that one and I shall start saying it! :P
 
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