Internet Relationships...Does It Work?


View Poll Results: Would you have a internet relationship?
Yes! 5 55.56%
No! 1 11.11%
Not Sure! 3 33.33%
Voters: 9. You may not vote on this poll

Barbara Jones
#1
Hi eveyone,

I'm new to this forum and would like to discuss Internet Relationships.

We all know the Internet is a big window of opportunity and we must be careful of these opportunities. Since many people are using the Internet for dating purposes, safety first should be on the forefront of their minds. (Use this medium wisely!)

Internet relationships is a growing population that can't be ignored any more. People are making this way of social behavior a common practice.
I have researched extensively on Internet Relationships and have received hundreds of letters from Internet Couples around the world sharing their experiences. Most of our feedback from our readers showed results of marriage to their Internet Lover while others showed devastation as their results.

Is it safe to say internet meetings between faceless names on-line is taking the place of meeting people at bars, clubs, churches, parties and other social gatherings?

People are looking outside their box (environment) for something different and better than what they're use too! People are seeking companionship where ever they can find it!

And it seems to me the internet is where they're looking.

B.Jones
 
Paranoid Dot Calm
#2
Hey! Barbara Jones

In my day, they had Lonely Hearts Clubs.
I remember bars having phones at tables where customers could contact another lonely-heart.
I remember advertisments in the Penthouse Forum magazine or the National Enquirer.

Look at how many lonely-hearts went bankrupt because of those 976 numbers in the 90's.

One thing for certain .... yuh can't get AID's from the net or from a typing-pal!

Wanted: A wife ( Must know how to type quickly)
Otherwise .... boring.

I don't use chat often. It feels too much like an elevator to me.

And the person who invents and manufactures "Web-Wigs" would make a killing. I hate the thought of having to comb my hair when sitting at my puter. Maybe a tiny mirror on the keyboard too.

Calm
 
Cosmo
#3
Hey Barbara Jones,

Welcome to the Forum.

Internet relationships, eh?

Well, I've been with my partner nearly 3 years. We met online. At first I thought she was too young for me (I've got about 6 years on her) but enjoyed the developing friendship. Eventually it became apparent we were a match and the rest, as they say, is history. We moved in together within 3 months and have been incredibly happy ever since.

But I've had my share of internet insanity! I learned the hard way that people are quite often not who / what they say they are. When I meet people in "real life", I have the opportunity to watch body language, to hear the nuances of speech and to hear ideas and feelings in their unedited form. These things allow me to use my instincts about people.

When I meet people online, all I have are the words on the screen. While the tone and the sense of humour do show through, I find that I have no idea of the true depth of the person (hey, we can all research and copy paste), or the integrity of the person. I always remember that I am relying on that person's perception of who they are and how they are seen in the world. It's amazing how distorted our self-perceptions often are!

The thing for me, at least, is that it usually does not matter one iota who is on the other end of the keyboard! Here in the forum and other places online where I have met people, I can enjoy the exchanges, the wit, the mental connection with people. But I take it for what it is ... unverified. Since I do not have my "gut" instinct to rely on, I approach people online with an unerring sense of skepticism. It takes some time and some personal contact before I trust people I meet online. Not fair, perhaps, but there are some pretty weird units out there! I know from experience.

Like Calm mentioned, the internet seems to be spawning a whole new mating ritual. It's odd to get to know someone intimately on a mental level and be total strangers physically. Meeting someone physically first then getting to know them mentally is an entirely different thing with entirely different rules. I think people tend to get hurt when they try to apply the "tradition" mating game rules to internet romances.

I think the internet is wonderful. Like Camille Paglia says:
"The Internet makes it possible to live anywhere in the country now; you don't have to live in a city ... I'm hoping that in the long run, the Internet will actually be a way to recover our contact with nature, because it allows people to live away from urban centers."

I think it also adds another dimension to relationships and opens a world of possibilities as long as people are careful. There are some bastards out there.

That's my two cents worth!

I'd be most interested in hearing more about your study!
 
zenfisher
#4
Edge and I met in a chatroom and have been married five years now. I agree with Cosmo it is important to approach with caution.

I think there is a certain advantage in exchanging ideas, wants, needs and ambitions before you meet someone. The physical being removed from the equation allows you to concentrate on what is really important.
 
moghrabi
#5
Good God, this thread is turning to be like "Dear Abby".
 
Barbara Jones
#6
Thanxs for your replies. What you had to say helps me a great deal. My research on Internet Relationships is one of a few research projects being conducted to date. There are so many view points on this issue, I'm sure alot of people will benefit.

Thanxs!
 
Cosmo
#7
Quote: Originally Posted by moghrabi

Good God, this thread is turning to be like "Dear Abby".

How so?
 
moghrabi
#8
Just a fun joke. I never meant it as such.
 
Cosmo
#9
Quote: Originally Posted by moghrabi

Just a fun joke. I never meant it as such.

Ok ... just thought maybe you'd give us some advice ... start a "Dear Moghrabi" column here at the forum
 
moghrabi
#10
lol. I can do that if you wish. I have great advice to offer but only to adults perferably females.
 
Cosmo
#11
Quote: Originally Posted by moghrabi

lol. I can do that if you wish. I have great advice to offer but only to adults perferably females.

Well, I'm adult, I'm female ... although if your advice is about hetro relationships, it probably wouldn't be all that helpful to me. Been there, done that, found a better way.
 
moghrabi
#12
I can give advice on both lifestyles. I am a fan of the homesexual society.
 
Cosmo
#13
Quote: Originally Posted by moghrabi

I can give advice on both lifestyles. I am a fan of the homesexual society.

Even with that right tilt you have to your philosophy??? I'm impressed.
 
moghrabi
#14
Quote: Originally Posted by Cosmo

Quote: Originally Posted by moghrabi

I can give advice on both lifestyles. I am a fan of the homesexual society.

Even with that right tilt you have to your philosophy??? I'm impressed.

What philosophy?
 
Cosmo
#15
Moghrabi, I've read many of your posts and you sound very right wing in your opinions. Even your avatar hints at it! Being somewhat left of centre myself, I always find opposing views interesting, providing they are the not vile, hate-mongering rhetoric of the fanatics. But I'm surprised that you accept same-sex unions. Do you support legal marriage of same-sex couples?
 
moghrabi
#16
First let me explain my political standing. I am not a right wing even though my avatar say "keep Right" you have to look at the arrow. To the contrary, if you read my posts carefully, I have ben called a leftist so many times.

Second. Why not supoort same sex unions or legal marriage. What business do I have in the bedrooms of others. If we let people live the way they want to live, there will be more peace on Earth.
 
Cosmo
#17
Quote: Originally Posted by moghrabi

First let me explain my political standing. I am not a right wing even though my avatar say "keep Right" you have to look at the arrow. To the contrary, if you read my posts carefully, I have ben called a leftist so many times.

Second. Why not supoort same sex unions or legal marriage. What business do I have in the bedrooms of others. If we let people live the way they want to live, there will be more peace on Earth.

Well, Moghrabi, I may have misunderstood you. Nice to know.

So, "Dear Moghrabi", do internet relationships work?
 
moghrabi
#18
It depends. Mine worked for about 3 years and was a lot of fun. I am trying it again but I don't seem to be as lucky as I am in person. I have to try harder maybe.

Another factor that keeps me on my toes is the other side. You can't really trust who is on the other side. After awhile, you have've got to meet them and see for yourself. They could be anything they want you to beleive.

What is you opinion?
 
Cosmo
#19
Quote: Originally Posted by moghrabi

Another factor that keeps me on my toes is the other side. You can't really trust who is on the other side. After awhile, you have've got to meet them and see for yourself. They could be anything they want you to beleive.

So true!!! I had a simple friendship (no romance, thankfully) with a woman I met online. She had sent me a photo and we frequented the same chat room for months. Eventually she admitted to me she was actually a man who wanted to be a woman. For months she kept the pretense. It was a good lesson for me.

"You never know who is on the other side" -- exactly. I met my chick online, but it wasn't until I saw her face to face that I really invested myself. I was one of the lucky ones ... she was as honest as I. But nearly everyone I know has a horror story or two about it!

Gotta admit, tho, that online relationships are a whole lot of fun. Rushing home every day from work to check email, being delighted to hear from the person or to find them online ... it's a wonderful dance. But I see it as pure fantasty until it's face to face.

You asked. I'm wordy.
 
moghrabi
#20
I love wordy people. So don't worry.

I had same problem with a person who turned to be 15. I flipped when I saw her. She had the guts to see me and tell me on the spot. As much as I wanted to see her, I wanted to kick her, do something if you know what I mean.

So keep wordying your words towards me so I can word more words to you.
 
Reverend Blair
#21
Is it really any differenet than meeting somebody in a bar or at a party or whatever? I've talked to plenty of people over the years who have claimed to be something they're not. Hell, I thought my cousin was a honcho for years, then I found out he's one step up from the kill floor and his parents paid for his toys.

I once had to tell one of my friends that he was dating a thirteen year old too...that was back in the early eighties. He was more than a little freaked, especially since she'd been borrowing his car all week.

So I've never done any internet dating or whatever, being attached before I had a computer and all. Is it really any different than the rest of life though?
 
Cosmo
#22
Ya, Rev, it is different. What you get online a sterilized version of the person. Everything written can be edited while in face to face there's no delete key. And body language tells a lot. I think we all use it far more than we realize.

In my experience, online relationships are kinda like the best part of people getting together. Once they meet face to face, all the quirks and warts show through. I don't think it's a bad thing, though. Gives people a different way to connect.

I'd be most interested to hear the results of the study, Barbara!
 
moghrabi
#23
You know Rev. If someone is going to date you on the internet, thy might fall in love with you for your sweet talk not knowing that you have no hair on top. Just kidding Rev. don't shoot.
 
Reverend Blair
#24
I have plenty of hair on top, Mog...and if I run out I'll just comb the stuff from my back up.

Cosmo...Like I said, I've never done it, so I can't say for sure. Mo Berg did manage to write, "She Ain't Pretty (she just looks that way)," back when typewriters and adding macines were still separate entities though.

Maybe the difference now is that you can take a shot at how pretty somebody is before you see if they look that way?
 
peapod
#25
Barbara your website seems more like a plug or sale for your book.

hometown.aol.com/bjones551/my...e/profile.html (external - login to view)
 
Barbara Jones
#26
Hi everyone,

Thanxs for the response. It was very informative to see what Cosmo & Moghrabi had to say to each other. They talked as if nobody was around to listen to their discussion on Internet Relationships. I felt what they had to say to each other was the truth.

Some times it's very hard to tell if the person on the other side of the monitor is a woman when actually they're a man. Or if they are the age they say they are or if they are telling the truth or not! These are few of the problems we face while chatting on line.

I think the WWW is a great medium for us to meet people even though it takes away the outdoor aspect of interacting. But we do have a choice. We can use the net or we can go outdoors or do both!

peapod...I use my http: so people can see I am who I say I am. Rev. Blair thanxs for pulling out the answers to the questions many other people ask.

Internet Relationships are not being discussed on the larger scale like it should with so many Internet Relationships developing around the world. WHY? Is it being over-looked or just ignored?

I hope to hear from you all again!
 

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