SOME NEW WORDS - Essential additions for the workplace
vocabulary:
BLAMESTORMING:
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER:
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on
everything and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS:
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY:
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
only to get screwed and die in the end.
CUBE FARM:
An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING:
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm,
and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
MOUSE POTATO:
The on-line answer to the couch potato.
SITCOM:
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them
stops working to stay home with the kids.
STARTER MARRIAGE:
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no
kids, no property and no regrets.
STRESS PUPPY:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
SWIPEOUT:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because
the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
XEROX SUBSIDY:
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
IRRITAINMENT:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you
find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trial was
a prime example. Bill Clinton's Grand Jury testimony is another.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE:
The fine art of whacking the shit out of an electronic device
to get it to work again.
VULCAN NERVE PINCH:
The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate
keys for some computer commands.
ADMINISPHERE:
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the
rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are
often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems
they were designed to solve.
GENERICA:
Features of the landscape that are exactly the same
no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip
malls, subdivisions.
OHNOSECOND:
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
you've just made a BIG mistake.
WOOFYS:
Well Off Older Folks
Now "the thingy" has a name. 