On Inviting Folks to Join.


American Voice
#1
There is something I've thinking about for a couple of weeks, and that is the notion of inviting people I know to register here and join in with us. I find myself comfortable saying, 'join in with us.' I have been here a little while now, coming up on two months. This is becoming for me a small, emotionally-integrated community, like the staff of a project. We have each come here by our separate roads, by chance and good fortune. This is separate from the everyday people I can see, and smell, and hear, and touch. I find myself asking, do I want the two communities to overlap? There is only one person I know I have been seriously tempted to invite. I think she'd appreciate it, but I can't help feeling that I might be inhibited by her presence.

To me, this is a secret place. It isn't a secret because there is anything shameful in it--on the contrary, it's goodness is an exception to the rule on the internet. In my experience, it is like a thing that defies the laws of nature, by hanging in midair, apparently without support. The law of averages says that inevitably such exceptions will occur, like the occurence of rare gems. Gems are rare, and therefore precious. You wouldn't share it with just anyone. My friend would very likely appreciate this site, but I feel I'd be sacrificing a degree of the liberty I enjoy here; that I would be inhibited in my participation. Does anyone else feel this way? Should it be left to chance, who comes here? Each of us, finally, must decide for himself; I'm not suggesting any kind of rule.
 
galianomama
#2
Quote:

I feel I'd be sacrificing a degree of the liberty I enjoy here; that I would be inhibited in my participation

AV - If it is a good friend that you are inviting to the board, they should enjoy the 'conversation' and want to participate. A good friend would not be judgemental.
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#3
Very eloquently put, America.

I totally understand what you are feeling, for I feel the same way. In the end it is a personal choice, of course, but for myself, I rather like meeting different people, people I'd not likely meet otherwise. I love the diversity of this community. At this juncture, I doubt I'll be inviting any of my non-cyber friends to join, but mainly because I can't think of any offhand who are forum types.

The fact that you feel strongly inclined to invite your friend seems a good sign that perhaps you ought to do so.
 
Lisa
#4
That was very well put AV! I feel the same about it. It inhibits the sort of privacy, in a well-mannered way. It is fun to discuss crazy, day-to-day topics and games on this forum.

I think I would not invite any of my friends here. It just would be weird. I don't know why.

Maybe it is interesting to find out how we all ended up here???? Someone wanna share his story or shall I initiate a new threat?
 
LuShes
#5
I always drag my real life friends here, though they are stubborn to come, I keep poking at them because its such a nice place. But they are guys, and the only way they said they would join is if there were some sorta singles meeting place, lol.

Forums are an amazing little place where you get to know people so well just through text messages, but yet they are hundreds of miles away from you.

CanadianContent forums will always be my home
(or chris will bury me alive ) jk!!! lol
 
American Voice
#6
Quote: Originally Posted by galianomama

Quote:

I feel I'd be sacrificing a degree of the liberty I enjoy here; that I would be inhibited in my participation

AV - If it is a good friend that you are inviting to the board, they should enjoy the 'conversation' and want to participate. A good friend would not be judgemental.

Galia, it isn't that she would be judgmental; the problem is that I know I'd feel just a wee bit paranoid. It would be a sacrificing of privacy. There are some things to which privacy is conducive, and intimacy is one of them.

There is a kind of immediacy here that one does not find in conventional social relations, perhaps because our interrelations here are so distilled. While it is possible for "anonymous" communication to engender a false sense of romantic intimacy, which is essentially autoerotic, I am coming to believe that this medium can produce a legitimate form of intimacy that is unique to it. It is not a substitute for social deficit in one's life, but a different kind of socializing. People who fail socially in the conventional sense will just as readily fail in their attempts to function here, I believe. There is an intellectual and emotional intimacy that exists here that is predicated upon already learned social skills. I believe that accounts for the creativity we appear to be generating among us. In some essential sense, we are pulling together as a team.

The instituted religions define themselves in terms of whom they exclude. A creative team, on the other hand, will be defined in terms of those who are included. Nobody comes here with credits and a resume, they just wander in, like I said, by chance and good fortune. People come and go, and some of them remain.

I'd like to hear what the rest of you have to say.
 
galianomama
#7
AV and Hag - I see your side of things here. Although I don't think my buddies would mind it, I can see how it may be intimating.

Quote:

People who fail socially in the conventional sense will just as readily fail in their attempts to function here, I believe

.......but with the delete button, don't we all become totally functional individuals? where else can you have a conversation where you get to erase what you just said, edit and revise?
 
American Voice
#8
You've put your finger on one of the unique properties here, as it were. Maybe in the houses of Congress, there is similar revision?
 
galianomama
#9
LOL!!

very good!
 
Diamond Sun
#10
I feel that way to AV. I think of a couple of friends that would probably like to belong to a forum like this, but then I'd have to watch what I said, as there are sometimes things that I just might not say to them.

As for a story on how I came here. I belonged to two different forums. One that was all sugar and sweet and you couldn't have any real in depth discussions without offending someone, and the other one was hijacked by a cutter and paster and flamer (all one person) who's sole purpose in life seemed to be to turn every single thread to his single minded political agenda.

So, I popped into Google and searched for something like Canadian chat forum, or something. I checked out a couple, including this one, liked what I saw here and decided to stay.
 
American Voice
#11
Can you say what it was decided you to remain? I know one night I felt alienated, and decided to withdraw. Other members encouraged me to remain, and I have done. Have you experienced a similar crisis?
 
EternalSunshine
#12
I'm an active member of two other forums and have been for about a year and a half. Every once in a while, I feel...well, not alienated, but for lack of a better word, overly saturated with a forum. So I take a break, maybe come every now and then to "check" what's going on.

In my opinion, forum dynamics will change, depending on who and how active members are.
 
EternalSunshine
#13
And on inviting friends to join in...well, I would probably tell them something like "It's a good place, check it out if you like, register if you wish, I just don't want to know if you did or what your nick is".

Eventually though, you're bound to find out, if it's a friend you're chatting with.
 
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