American Voice said:
I think it might be useful to make a distinction between gender and sex.
I see gender as inevitable. Sex, on the other hand, while desireable, has no place here. I sometimes am feeling a little naughty, and maybe tell a risque story, but I do so with discretion (I think).
I think you are miscontruing what I mean by "anonymity." I agree, I think filling in personal data forms is silly, unless you are giving a medical history. But I think of all the personal anecdotes and revelations I read here, and assuming that everyone is being truthful and honest, I find that interesting. My gender is an unalienable part of my identity. Correct me if I'm wrong, Haggis, but I don't sense that you are concealing your identity so much as you are reluctant to make a specific disclosure, on account of a concern that you might thereby unwittingly, and unintentionally invite the distressing attentions of some sexual sociopath, of whom there are, unfortunately, many prowling the internet.
As for me, I find it easiest to just be truthful. Lying and concealment are too hard. One would have to be compelled to be deliberately deceiving, it must be exhausting. Gotta keep on the run, I imagine, when the inevitable slip-up occurs. I have a pretty clear layman's understanding of the signs of psychogenic paranoid disorder. It's a disorder or degree, and is actually quite a bit more common than most people would suppose. All you have to do is turn on the television and see all of the programming and advertising that is clearly directed at them.
Anyway, I'll sit down now, and take a breath.
Thanks, guys, for being patient. (Oh, in America, "guys" is considered to be a generic address. Even women will address one another, in groups, as "guys.")
Hi American Voice... may I call you America?
Thank you for you response.
The initial reasons for not stating my gender had nothing to do with fear of stalkers, I am too mean and old to worry about such things. In other words, god help the stalker who messes with me.
To be honest, when I signed up, I didn't think much about it one way or another, at least not until the first time I realized that at least one person thought I was male. At that time, I just didn't see the big deal, so ignored it.
On the other hand, I guess it was something of a conscious decision since I like my words to be taken for their value, not as 'something written by a woman'. In another forum, whenever I 'won' an argument, some of the male members would start making thinly-veiled remarks derogatory to my gender in reference to my argument (ie 'just like a woman to think that way', or 'oh, you just can't argue with a woman'). it was highly counter-productive and highly annoying, as you can imagine.
The other thing that I did not welcome was the flirting, both on the forum and through a myriad of private messages. It was necessary to be quite abrupt in the PMs in order to stop the problem and this, in turn, resulted in the person becoming rather unpleasant to me on the forum. I have no problem per se with a little harmless flirting, but only in real life and never ever online simply because it is fraught with problems; a lot of little games get played out there.
The bottom line is, I like to interact on forums in a way that is uniquely possible in this venue, as a personality stripped of the often-distracting factors that are unavoidable in 'real' life. It isn't deceptive, but is, in a sense, actually more honest.
The interesting thing is, our way of acknowledging an idea is greatly affected by who it is that tells us. We can hear an idea from a rich successful man and it will be perceived completely differently by us than if we hear the exact same idea from a bum begging on the street. That is sort of what I was trying to get started on the 'Assumptions' thread.
Different perspectives, I know. I wanted to say my piece so that you might better understand that I had no intention to deceive or be secretive, I simply wanted to be known for my views alone. As for the fact that I am now 'out of the closet', as it were, no problem. It just wasn't worth the fuss to maintain my preference. Sometimes it is better to just go with the flow, and so I did.