neighbours from hell

American Voice
Twenty questions? I feel like a referee at a civil hearing in night court.
Hi .. Did she buy this topsoil ??? What city is she in ??? Because i work with by law officers for the city of toronto ... I can ask them what a person can do when its comes to that ... Also how much topsoil are we talking about any ways
Reverend Blair
I never said a word when my neighbour got his topsoil dropped off. When he started using it to build up his yard so it drained into my driveway I had a few things to say though. I was polite and reasonable until the slimy bastard said, "Go back in the house with your commie wife."

To my credit I never hit the fat prick with his own shovel. I might have intimated that he had sexual relations with pigs though. It was election night (he never voted, BTW) and things are blurry, but I'm pretty sure that came up.

I never meant to have his truck towed yesterday either. It was sitting on the street without plates though, and there is every chance that it was owned by crack dealers who were trying to set up shop in front of my house. The bastard is going to have some trouble when he gets back from the lake. I gave his description to the cops as the gang leader. I hope he's dead sober when he goes looking for his truck.

A little background. I had perfectly acceptable white trash neighbours for the first thirteen years I was here. We could have a beer, work on each others trucks, compare broken lawn mower tales, and maybe even ridicule the yuppie scum who built a house across the street. We drank, we smoked, we put up NDP signs every election, and nobody ever got a new tattoo without showing it to somebody.

That all changed a couple of years ago. This Darren guy moved in. We knew he was trouble when he became buds with the guy across the street, but didn't have the vindictiveness to burn him out. Since then it's been nothing but whinging. He doesn't like our cats, our dogs make too much noise, my trees block his sun light, my driveway looks like a wrecking yard, his wife is allergic to bonfire smoke, the guy who bought my MG backed across his weeds.

I've listened to it all and done my best to be quiet and friendly. When he discovered that his new furnace had a fresh air inlet by my driveway I quit parking there in the mistaken belief that he would fix the problem with his house at the first opportunity. He hasn't.

Now his basement is flooding because his weeping tiles are plugged and his solution is to drain his yard into mine. He could fix it properly, but he's fat and stupid and lazy. He thinks dirt will fix his troubles.

I get the feeling that if he gets the runs his solution will be to take a dump in my yard and blame his incontinence on the fumes from my BBQ.

I'm a peaceful guy. All I want is to left alone in an area that is something other than a slough. Next spring I'm building a huge flowerbed just this side of the property line. He thinks he has drainage problems now? Wait until his water hits two feet of pressure treated lumber and washes back through his basement window.

I've had enough. He will suffer from now on. My truck will be parked where it belongs this winter too. It will warm up there every day. I hope he chokes.
Haggis McBagpipe
I'm with you. While you're doing all those things, I'm just going to pretend you're doing them to an ex-neighbour of ours that I never forgave for all the utter misery she put us through.
Diamond Sun
Why is it that neighbours can be like that. When we moved into our house, I was walking around the back yard and glanced into our neighbours yard. He had a sign saying "Keep dogs off my property or they may be poisoned" or something to that effect.

And he put rocks at the base of our driveway because supposedly part of the driveway was on his property (which it isn't) so we couldn't use that half of the driveway.

Ah, but he got his comuppance last August 22.
Haggis McBagpipe
Quote: Originally Posted by Diamond Sun

Ah, but he got his comuppance last August 22.

The forum members waited with bated breath. What could the gentle Diamond Sun possibly have done to the Evil Neighbour From Hell? Or did fate intervene in some mysterious karmic way?
Diamond Sun
Although you all don't believe in fate, I think that it was definitely mother natures hand in fate.

We had cool neighbours in Edmonton though. Two ladies (one with short hair and a lumberjack shirt....) who were so friendly, and even baked us cookies. And they always told us after we had parties that it didn't bother them at all.
Reverend Blair

And they always told us after we had parties that it didn't bother them at all.

Just after we moved in here my buddy passed out in an anthill in the front yard. We came home from the bar and he kind of landed there, so I left him. Apparently a couple of neighbours checked on him the next day. They even laughed at him a bit.

When I realised what had happened I made a point of apologising and was met with giggles of understanding. Just because I was grown up enough to buy a house and mow the lawn didn't mean that my friends were and some of my much older (about as old as I am now) neighbours had similar things happen to them not all that long ago.

This was a different place back then. John across the street died though, and the Bellengers moved away and the new people took over the community association so they could start a broomball league, and the CN people are so beaten by the new owners that they walk all hunched over and make excuses when you invite them in for a beer.. I went to a meeting about ditches the other night and there were only six of us there. Five years ago there would have been thirty and a politician would have shown up. We had a letter of regret from Bill Blaikie and not a peep from the province or city. The weasel from the city was smirking until we threatened to do the work ourselves.

Five years ago my neighbours would have all shown up and made the prick next door to me fix his problems instead of shunting them on to me. Two years ago a reduced number of neighbours helped me chase off the cat-hating bastard across the street. Today me and Frank and some nice new people with hispanic accents (George and Marie or maybe Maria, I think) and a single woman with a daughter who claims to like cat-houses (different subject, ask me) and the union activist next door and Rene who runs the dirt yard and a guy named Ike are all that's left.

No wonder the neighbours are getting rude...they are under the mistaken assumption that they live in Charleswood.

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