Signs of Lying: Here’s What Will and Will Not Help You Detect Lies


Locutus
+1
#1
or will they? sounds made up.

Lying well is hard — but not in the way you might think.

We usually look for nervousness as one of the signs of lying. Like the person is worried about getting caught. But that’s actually a weak predictor.

Some people are so confident they don’t fear getting caught. Others are great at hiding it.

Some get nervous when questioned so you get false positives. And others are lying to themselves — so they show no signs of deliberate deception.

So lying isn’t necessarily hard in terms of stress. But it is hard in terms of “cognitive load.” What’s that mean?


trust me, there's more, or maybe it's blind link


detect-lying (external - login to view)
 
Most helpful post: The members here have rated this post as best reply.
taxslave
+5
#2  Top Rated Post
Wearing a bow tie and having a law degree are sure signs of a liar. Having a law degree, wearing a bowtie and selling used cars is like wearing a neon sign saying liar.
 
Twila
#3
Excellent! This site is going to come in sooooo handy
 
eh1eh
+1
#4
Here's another good one to help detect liars.

https://www.ted.com/talks/pamela_mey...to_spot_a_liar (external - login to view)
 
B00Mer
#5
Eye Direction and Lying - How to detect lies from the direction of an individual's gaze / visual accessing cues. (external - login to view)

 
lone wolf
#6
Body language in the office speaks louder than words | cleveland.com (external - login to view)

Now watch Question Period....
 
BaalsTears
#7
Most people can't look you right in the eyes and lie to you.
 
Sal
#8
It occurred to me as I read this article, that at this stage of my life and with the activities I engage the people around me would have little reason to lie to me as it wouldn't gain them anything.
I used to work with someone who used to tell tall tales. When you are first getting to know someone, you have no background knowledge of them. Thus when they engage in long winded stories, you don't know, they could be true. But as time moves forward and you slowly learn about them it becomes obvious that their tales and bragging are just that.

It never really bothered me all that much when she would lie except for the time taken. That's irritating. For a short while as they weave their lie everyone is listening. It is pointless time theft and I can't get that back. It quickly becomes a game when listening to find the point at which they have lost a piece of the consistency.
 
QuebecCanadian
+1
#9
What about your classic sociopath? The best liars around. You're right Sal, such a waste of time. My ex was a very good liar in his day. I'm convinced he was so good because he decided that what he was saying was the truth. His stories were always just that little bit more interesting, sad, tragic, exciting....than the everyone else in the group. Made for amusing anecdotes but very little substance.


To this day he can not tell the truth but as he (and all around him) get older, it's less amusing and much more far-fetched.
 
Sal
+1
#10
Quote: Originally Posted by QuebecCanadianView Post

What about your classic sociopath? The best liars around. You're right Sal, such a waste of time. My ex was a very good liar in his day. I'm convinced he was so good because he decided that what he was saying was the truth. His stories were always just that little bit more interesting, sad, tragic, exciting....than the everyone else in the group. Made for amusing anecdotes but very little substance.


To this day he can not tell the truth but as he (and all around him) get older, it's less amusing and much more far-fetched.

At least sociopaths have a goal; to cover or manipulate.

Your typical liar...who knows... I guess it is to manipulate as well...to receive feelings of love and support that they feel they do not deserve or could not acquire by being themselves. After a while they don't even attempt to keep it straight any more it's just live for the lie of the moment.

Sad really. It never comes to a good end. People just wander away out of their lives.
 
relic
#11
Or they could have hair the looks like plastic, or like like Doogie Hauser.....
 
B00Mer
+1
#12
Quote: Originally Posted by BaalsTearsView Post

Most people can't look you right in the eyes and lie to you.

 
lone wolf
+2
#13
When I can't get a sense of timeline in a tale the doubts start rolling
 
Nuggler
+1
#14
Quote: Originally Posted by SalView Post

At least sociopaths have a goal; to cover or manipulate.

Your typical liar...who knows... I guess it is to manipulate as well...to receive feelings of love and support that they feel they do not deserve or could not acquire by being themselves. After a while they don't even attempt to keep it straight any more it's just live for the lie of the moment.

Sad really. It never comes to a good end. People just wander away out of their lives.




Holy sh*t Sal. You need a shoulder?. There there. 's ok.
Liars gotta lie.
Their problem.
 
Sal
#15
Quote: Originally Posted by NugglerView Post

Holy sh*t Sal. You need a shoulder?. There there. 's ok.
Liars gotta lie.
Their problem.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, it's all so sad Nug.... I got a tale of woe could make ya weep bud...all I need to fix it is a wee cheque... *sniff* could ya help a bit...not much...what say you Nugs... *sniff* a wee cheque for a wee tale? *brightens and looks all hopeful*
 
Dixie Cup
+1
#16
I have a friend that tells lies on a frequent basis. I have known her for 40 years or so and she has never changed. She doesn't lie about big things; its the little ones and it has baffled me all these years. When I called her on it, she just continues on as though nothing had happened. She came from a good family - mom a teacher, dad did something for the school board - never could figure out why she would lie when it wasn't necessary.


A good example of this was what happened to us one Saturday night. I had a VW bug and every Friday and Saturday night, my friend and I went out dancing. Both dances were just slightly out of town which required a vehicle to get there. My mom had need of the car so we weren't sure if we could go this one particular weekend. Her dad also had a VW bug; older but the same colour as mine. She asked him if we could "borrow" it for the night (she didn't drive). He called me to ask me what are plans were and I told him. He ok'd the use of his car as long as we were careful and I promised that I would be responsible for it.


We arrived that night at the local hall and I parked, as usual, under a street light so that the car was visible. In the hall we went and danced our hearts out. Little did we know that some of the guys that we knew decided to pull a prank on us and, of course, they would pick the night we had "borrowed" a car. (Turns out they didn't realize it wasn't mine). They pulled the spark plugs off so that at the end of the night, when I went to start the car it wouldn't start. My friend started freaking out, blaming me for breaking her dads car and he'd never forgive her and on and on. I told her to calm down and it wasn't anything that I did. I just drove the car and parked it.


Everyone was leaving and I was worried that we'd be stuck in the middle of nowhere with no help in sight. (No cell phone then). Finally, some guys came from around the corner of the hall to ask if we were having problems. I explained to them that I couldn't get the car to start. So we pushed the car and tried to start it by releasing the clutch - nothing. Finally someone came with their car and tried pushing us to no avail. Finally, someone looked under the hood and ta da....oh, gee, your spark plugs came undone. Put them back on and low and behold the car started. Talk about relief and hoping that my friends dad never found out. Took the car back and mom picked me up at my friends place.


Next morning I get this call and again, my friend is frantic! Seems that the pushing of the car "broke" some tail pipes and it was going to cost a "fortune" to fix. She was talking a mile a minute and I figured knowing her, she'd concoct a tale that would be hard to believe and we'd never be able to borrow the car again if required. So, like a trooper, I went over to her place, (only after I ascertained that she wasn't going to be home) I wanted to talk to her dad alone. I found her dad in the garage and asked to speak with him. I told him exactly what had happened. Needless to day, she had told a completely different story - why I have no idea since we didn't do anything wrong. He accepted my explanation and said he would try to find "used" tail pipes for the car. I think it cost me $20 or so but not the "hundreds" that she had originally quoted. I asked her why she lied to her dad when we didn't have to and quite frankly, I don't even recall her response. (The next weekend the guys "confessed" as to what they had done and apologized for screwing things up for us stating that they didn't know it wasn't my car).


My mom knew what happened the minute she picked me up the night before.


The bottom line is that her parents knew her proclivity to lie but I don't know if they ever actually did anything about it. I also figured out that her parents were always talking about her older sister who was an over-achiever, so I kinda gathered it was my friends only way to gain attention. I'm guessing.....


Anyway, she is a good person other than that. She's been married for over 35 years and her hubby occasionally challenges her "stories" but I guess has accepted that its just part of who she is. She's give the shirt of her back for you as a friend, so its something that, over the years, I just accept and whenever we Skype each other, I just take what she says with a grain of salt. I have to confess that our friendship for the most part has been long distance since we graduated high school, so it makes things more tolerable...


Funny how a conversation on lying brought back that memory. Sigh


Dixie
 
Twila
+1
#17
Quote: Originally Posted by lone wolfView Post

When I can't get a sense of timeline in a tale the doubts start rolling

same here. I also find that I am lost and have no idea what they're talking about by the end or I wonder why they're even telling me half of the stuff they're telling me.

I've found that depending on the lie or more importantly the reason behind the lie the signs can be different.
Last edited by Twila; Apr 27th, 2014 at 12:12 PM..
 
taxslave
+3
#18
Consistent lying requires too good a memory. Most of us have too much trouble remembering the truth.
 
Sal
+1
#19
and apparently the truth varies when we tell it as we will switch the order around...when lying it has to be repeated verbatim since they are not remember an actual event but the way they told it
 

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