Talking dog

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking dog for sale”
Intrigued, he walks in.

“So what have you done in your life?” he asks the dog.
“I’ve led a full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents in a retirement home”.

The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog owner, “Why in the world would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?”

The owner says, “Because he’s just a liar! He never did any of that!”

A guy walks into the circus manager's office with his dog. Claims that the dog knows how to speak. First, the manager is skeptical, but decides to humour the guy. So, he tells him: "Let's hear him Speak".

The guy tell his dog: "Just so the gentleman will believe me, I want you to answer my questions not once, but twice. First what is on the top of every house? The dog replies: ROOF, ROOF! The guy says What is sand paper like? The dog replies: ROUGH, ROUGH!

Well, the manager heard enough and promptly booted both of them from his office.

Once outside the dog said, indignantly: "What do you suppose I said wrong?"