#1
Jonathan Winters Quotes
Nov 27th, 2009If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it.
I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.
Now the freaks are on television, the freaks are in the movies. And it's no longer the sideshow, it's the whole show. The colorful circus and the clowns and the elephants, for all intents and purposes, are gone, and we're dealing only with the freaks.
In doing comedy, I've always had the most fun when I was improvising. And that's the way it has been with art, too. All of my paintings come right out of my head, off the wall thoughts that, with the help of acylics, I've transferred to canvas. I go down to my studio, turn on the radio --you've got to have music!-- and let my mind wander. I let myself get lost; for me, painting has always been a great place to hide.
A lot of people have been through a hell of a lot more than I have, and they deserve a laugh and if I can bring a laugh to 'em and show 'em some of my problems without getting too heavy, ya know what I mean? I think– I'm an overly sensitive guy, I'm not a crybaby. Larry King [Larry King Live] asked me to come on his show one day and he said, 'I understand you're manic depressive,' and I said, 'Yeah, not only am I that, but just a couple of days ago, they labeled me bipolar. I haven't been to the Arctic or Antarctic, so I don't know what's going on there.'
(regarding the mental breakdowns he suffered early in his comedic career) This is something I've never quite shaken. There are bigger stars than me with all kinds of coke problems, sauce problems, guys that are married four, five times. Then they put them in picture after picture. Why should I have to go through my life auditioning and proving I'm sane?
Throughout my life, I've been gratified that I've been able to keep the child in me alive and inspire others.
God is in my head, but the devil is in my pants.
FAN: Who do you like in the World Series?
JONATHAN WINTERS: I'd like to see the Yankees do it. I'm a Cincinnati fan, but we quit in July.
I've been married 32 years, and people have said, "Isn't that... oh, that's so... even in or out of that business, that's so wonderful." You try it.
Well, I'll tell you very honestly without getting carried away in a very long answer. I think comedy -- and whether I think it's the rarest thing -- I'm sure others hopefully would agree -- that laughter is probably one of the rarest things we have. Even look at the minerals, diamonds, and rubies and gold and silver and platinum, oil, all these little goodies that bring so much wealth to people. But as far as laughter, and you can say yes, those are very rare. And they are, they're rare. But how often can you say to yourself or to your wife or -- excuse me -- your loved ones, whatever, that you sat down and watched this specific show in television and in the movies, whatever, and found yourself out of the chair and on the floor? That's how rare laughter is. That's how rare comedy is. We don't find ourselves on the floor very often.
I know this from years ago. I know it now -- for me; I would never speak for others. I know that you can be funny, I know that you can be hilarious without being dirty. I realize that a lot of the young people, this is their -- they've chosen this way to go with their people, their guy, gals, what have you. It's just not my cup of tea. I know, I look back at Laurel and Hardy, which I still -- their material still stands up. It's still funny. They're still two of the funniest guys that ever lived. Groucho Marx was a dirty old man but never used any bad language, never pinched a lady. Got close. But a lot of funny people -- W.C. Fields -- I just, I don't know -- the old adage, you know, "to drop your pants to be funny," come on. I think it takes a little more work to be funny without being dirty. It's very easy to go into something, you know, blue, risqué,...
Well, Letterman -- I don't know what's going on there. I wish I could tell you. I don't understand Letterman. Carson and I had a lot of fun together. But it was different from the fact, this guy wanted you to look good -- 30 years on television, drop into that room that I -- you know, the Green Room, "Johnny, what do you want to talk about?" And we talked about it, and we did it. I can't tell whether these guys are jealous. Sometimes I think between Leno and Letterman it's one word, "overnights." I think that's what they're concerned about.
my wife and I were Greece this past year, a year ago, and I -- she and I came out of this temple, Athena or something, which was about, oh, 50, 60 miles outside of Athens. And we were on a bus with a lot of blue hairs and -- so the woman turned to me, she said, "I know who you are." And I said, "Yeah, so do I. It's on my dog tag." "You are him, aren't you?" "I'm him. Now, who am I? The important thing is who are you, dear?" "I'm Agatha Lendler. We're from Terre Haute, Indiana. This is my husband, Howard, my second husband. My first husband was run over." "You better be on your toes." So at any rate, she said, "Let me ask you something, Mr. Winters. Is it Mr. Winters? "Mm-hmm." "What did you think of the temple?" And my wife was just within earshot. And I said, "I was terribly disappointed." "Why?" "Everything was broken." "Well, my God, man, it was 5,000 years before Christ." "It should be repaired by now." As I turned around, she just shook her head. He said to her, "You know, honey, a lot of them are completely burned out." Perfect.
