#1Apr 14th, 2009
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
pharmacist about Chardonnay.
Chardonnay is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
about yourself and your actions.
Chardonnay can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the
world that you are ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Chardonnay almost immediately and with a
regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you
from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a
thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you
had. Stop hiding and start living, with Chardonnay.
Chardonnay may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or
nursing should not use Chardonnay. However, women who wouldn't mind
nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration,
erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of
money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headaches,
dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night
rounds of Strip Poker, Truth or Dare and naked Twister.
WARNINGS:
The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you are whispering when
you are not.
The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to tell your friends over and
over again that you love them.
The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to think you can sing.
The consumption of Chardonnay may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to call/text them at four o'clock in the morning.
The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
The consumption of Chardonnay may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking then most people.
So go ahead and try it....$3 a bottle works the same as $300 a bottle so
why pay more!
ADDENDUM
IF YOU SUFFER SIDE EFFECTS OF DOUBT THE EFFICACY OF SAID TREATMENT, STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THAT SIMILAR MEDICATIONS SUCH AS PINOT GRIGIO, CABERNET AND ZINFANDEL HAVE SIMILAR THERAPEUTIC EFFECTS.
