Outstanding moments in English language

Wasn't sure where to post this but I woke up this morning with this crap going on in my head.

- Kill a commie for christ.
- the only good indian is a dead indian
- what is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't load bowling balls into a truck with a pitch fork.
- Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope.
- What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob.
- What is the brown stuff between an elephant's toes? Slow natives.
- You are either with us or against us.
- We have to invade Iraq because of the WMDs.

Feel free to ad your favourites.

I remember the age of the sick jokes and elephant jokes

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
So he could hide in the cherry tree!

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!

What's the difference between a sick elephant and seven days?
One is a weak one and the other one week!

What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep?
Trunkquilizers!

Why are elephants grey?
So you can tell them from flamingos!

Elephant Keeper: "My Elephant isn't well, do you know a good animal doctor?
" Zoo Keeper: "No, all the doctors I know are people!"

Why do elephants scratch themselves?
Because they're the only ones who know where they itch!

How does an elephant get down from a tree?
He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn!

Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?
Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box!

How do you know that peanuts are fattening?
Have you ever seen a skinny elephant?

What is that slimy green stuff hanging from the trees?
Elephant snot.

Last edited by #juan; Mar 31st, 2009 at 10:02 AM..

What do you call a man lying on the front porch by the door?????
Matt.

What is black and white and black and white and black and white and red?
A nun falling down the stairs.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a peanut butter sandwich?
You either get a sandwich with a long memory or an elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth.