Poor Bob

Quote: Originally Posted by Nuggler

: Poor Bob
>
>Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week
>bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.
>
>His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday
>she takes him to a local strip club.
>
>The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'
>
>His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
>
>'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.'
>
>When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and
>brings over a Budweiser.
>
>His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did
>she know that you drink Budweiser?'
>
>"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always
>have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."
>
>A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around
>Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says,
>"Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
>
>Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
>
>Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.
>
>Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
>
>Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken
>him for someone else, but his wife is having
>none of it .
>
>She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4
>letter word in the book.
>
>The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Bob, you picked up a real
>bitch this time."
>
>BOB's funeral will be on Friday.

Quote: Originally Posted by dirtylinder

An ObituaryToday we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the name of Common Sense.
Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from heart failure on the brink of the new millennium. No one really knows how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, The Great Depression, and the
Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including body piercing, whole language, and "new math." But his health declined when he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.
In recent...

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