WORLDS SHORTEST FAIRY TALE

WORLDS SHORTEST FAIRY TALE

Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy "Will you marry
me?" The guy said, "NO!" And the girl lived happily
ever after and went shopping, dancing, drinking,
always had a clean house, never had to cook, and
never had a headache.

THE END

FiveParadox is weeping quietly in the corner of the thread.

That ... was so beautiful ...

Once upon a time, a smart and powerfully sexy woman said to a lonely and unhappy man, "You're absolutely terrible at choosing a partner for yourself, you should let me do it, I know the perfect woman for you." And the man said "Oh really? And who's that" And the woman said "Me." And the man soon realized she was right, they got married, and lived happily ever after.

And the best thing about this fairy tale is that it's true; I'm the man, it happened in the spring of 1980, we got married on Halloween of the same year, and neither of us have ever regretted it for a second. We've produced two fine children, made a good life for ourselves, and she has a splendidly vulgar sense of humour and can still make me laugh like nobody else I've ever known. She is a constant surprise and delight, and I celebrate my debt to her at every opportunity. And at 49 years old, she still has fabulous legs. This is a seriously hot babe guys, eat your hearts out...

Life just doesn't get any better than mine.

Dex, that is a wonderful fairy tale, made especially wonderful by a) being true, and b) being the happy story of one of our favourite forum members.

Dexter stop it you're making me cry, just kidding lovely story.

Once, not so very long ago, in a country bounded by two oceans east and west, ice and snow in the north, and a race of pillaging idiots to the south, lived a beautiful princess whose name was Sillytwit.

ST was much loved by her parents, siblings, teachers, lots of boys, a few girls, and most of all, by herself. She would spend the evening, after her homework was done, in front of the mirror, smiling, posing, dreaming of the wonderful life she was going to have in the modeling world, or the world of acting; once that was, when she got her grade ten and could get the hell out of this little town she hated just so much, like, with every fibre or something.

ST fell in love with a handome dick named Smoothguy who worked at the local lumber yard, drove a half ton, had cute buns, twenty five bitches on the string, and a psycopathic hatred of everything he didn't understand, which, of course, was just about everything.

Anyway ST found herself in a family way by SG and they agreed to marry. Which they did.

ST kept drinking during her pregnancy and gave birth to a fine litter of triplets who's only fault was that all of them suffered from FAS, and had the telltale disfiguring facial features.

SG lost his job at the lumber yard, hurt his back, applied for a disability pension, was turned down, shot and killed the office clerk who told him he didn't qualify, and was sentenced to the "big 25 without parole".

ST started smoking crack, worked the corner downtown, became infected with HIV aids, and infected a whole bunch of other people including some married guys, who in turn infected.............

The kids got took by the childrens aid, separated, and raised in separate foster homes where they were all emotionally and sexually abused until they became adults when they in turn, abused and tortured a bunch of other folks.

All this cost the country about a mill. Dip**** in prison, crack***** on the corner when not in jail, kids in the "justice system".

The end.

Whadthehell ya expect, there ain't no fairyland in Kanader eh

Bill and Phil went up the hill to fetch a keg of not water, Bill fell down and broke a crown and Phil went tumbling after.

Phil slammed into Sam I am-who will not eat Green eggs and ham. Bill went rolling past them.

Bill came to a stop beside Miss Moffet who sat on her boffet and smacked bill in the face. The old lady who lived in a shoe knew just what to do and she stole the Keg of not water. The old lady who lived in a shoe dropped the keg of not water when she saw the itsy bitsy spider that was going up her water spout and she went screaming after.

Jack and Jill were going up the hill and stole the Keg of not Water. They went up the hill drank the keg and both rolled down the hill amongst much laughter.