#1Mar 2nd, 2006
From the Comedy "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
Film Statistics
Directed by Terry Gilliam
Released in 1974
Cast includes Terry Jones, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin, and a cast of thousands.
Taken from scene three.
Graham Chapman as KING ARTHUR
Michael Palin as DENNIS
Terry Jones as the WOMAN
ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Man, sorry. What knight live in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old!
ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you "Man".
DENNIS: Well, you could say "Dennis".
ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called "Dennis".
DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from the behind you looked--
DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ARTHUR: Well, I AM king...
DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers -- by hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society! If there's ever going to be any progress--
WOMAN : Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh how d'you do?
ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that?
WOMAN : King of the who?
ARTHUR: The Britons.
WOMAN : Who are the Britons?
ARTHUR: Well, we all are. We're all Britons and I am your king.
WOMAN : I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
WOMAN : Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would listen.
ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
WOMAN : No one live there.
ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?
WOMAN : We don't have a lord.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
ARTHUR: Yes.
DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting.
ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--
ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN : Order, eh -- who does he think he is?
ARTHUR: I am your king!
WOMAN : Well, I didn't vote for you.
ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.
WOMAN : Well, how did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, [angels start singing] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around saying, "I was an emperor just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me" they'd put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you hear that, did you here that, eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me, you saw it didn't you?
The scene ends as King Arther rides off in disgust.
My favourite ... the killer rabbit from "Holy Grail".