#1Jan 3rd, 2005
She doesn't get PMS...she is HORMONALLY HOMICIDAL
She does not have a KILLER BODY...she is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE
She is not a BAD COOK. She is : MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She is not a BAD DRIVER. She is VEHICULARLY CHALLENGED.
She is not a PERFECT 10. She is NUMERICALLY SUPERIOR.
She does not HATE SPORTS ON TV. She is ATHLETICLY BIASED.
She does not have SEXY LIPS. She is COLLAGEN DEPENDANT.
She does not get DRUNK. She gets ACCIDENTALLY OVER-SERVED.
You do not ASK HER TO DANCE. You REQUEST A PRE-COITAL RHYTHMIC EXPERIENCE.
She is not a GOSSIP. She is a VERBAL TERMINATOR.
She does not WORK OUT TOO MUCH. She is an ABDOMINAL OVERACHIEVER.
She does not have A GREAT BUTT. She is GLUTEUS TO THE MAXIMUS.
She is not HOOKED ON SOAP OPERAS. She is MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED..
She is not COLD OR FRIGID. She is THERMALLY INCOMPATIBLE.
She does not have GREAT CLEAVAGE. She is CENTRALLY LOCATED.
She will never GAIN WEIGHT. She will become A METABOLIC UNDERACHEIVER.
She is not a SCREAMER OR A MOANER. She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKE UP. She is COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED.
She does not SHAVE HER LEGS. She experiences TEMPORARY STUBBLE REDUCTION.
She does not have a HARD BODY. She is ANATOMICALLY INFLEXIBLE.
She does not SUNBATHE. She experiences SOLAR ENHANCEMENT.
Her breasts will never SAG. They will LOSE THEIR VERTICAL HOLD.
She does not SHOP TOO MUCH. She is OVERLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING PLOYS.
She does not CUT YOU OFF. She becomes HORIZONTALLY INACCESSABLE.
She does not have BIG HAIR. She is OVERLY AEROSOLED.
She does not SNORE. She is NASALY REPETITIVE.
She does not GET DRUNK. She is VERBALLY DYSLEXIC.
She does not have BIG HOOTERS. Her CUPS RUNNETH OVER.
She is not TOO SKINNY. She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
