Beer..

Beer..

DaSleeper

#1Jan 18th, 2012

Beer contains female hormones!

Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!

Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners

Of beer within a one (1) hour period.

It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects,

Yes, 100% of all these men:

1) Argued over nothing.

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

3) Gained weight.

4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional

6) Couldn't drive.

7) Failed to think rationally, and

Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary!

Send this to the men you know

To warn them about drinking too much beer!

Cheers,

gopher

Re: Beer..

Feb 4th, 2012

Funny!

Just had a Rolling Rock and won't be able to have one without thinking about your post.

L Gilbert

Re: Beer..

Feb 4th, 2012

lol Oldie but a goodie. Wifey found one like it:
"Yesterday, American Scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of male hormones. To prove their theory, they fed each of one hundred women some pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started farting for no reason, flopped on the couch and undoing the top button on their pants after meals, scratched their parts while waiting for their meal at the restaurant, stopped asking for directions when they got lost, and started telling each other stupid pickup lines."

gopher

Re: Beer..

Feb 4th, 2012

hahahahaha!!!!!

Walter

#5 Top Rated Post

Re: Beer..

Feb 5th, 2012

Quote: Originally Posted by DaSleeper

The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

I guess beer turns me into a lesbian because all the women get prettier with every beer I consume and I want to play with their body parts.

eh1eh

Re: Beer..

Feb 5th, 2012

Quote: Originally Posted by Walter

I guess beer turns me into a lesbian because all the women get prettier with every beer I consume and I want to play with their body parts.

Not really. That's the ocular component of beer. (beer goggles)

DaSleeper

Re: Beer..

Feb 5th, 2012

Keep drinkin'

Banned Commercials - Beer Makes Women Beautiful - YouTube

taxslave

Re: Beer..

Feb 5th, 2012

Now I know why I have a compulsion to shave my legs. I always thought it was caused by doing dishes.

shadowshiv

Re: Beer..

Feb 5th, 2012

Quote: Originally Posted by DaSleeper

Keep drinkin'

Banned Commercials - Beer Makes Women Beautiful - YouTube

Not sure why that commercial was banned. It didn't seem that bad to me.

Ron in Regina

#10

Re: Beer..

Feb 5th, 2012

Since we're on the subject of Beer. I've got a weird question.

When it comes to beer, I'm a lightweight. Three beer & I'm
hammered like the next guy drinking a dozen or more. I can
drink hard liquor in pretty much any volume without much
issue....but beer just kicks me in the arse.

It's not a bodyweight thing, as I'm 6'2" & 200lbs, & I know I
have a weird metabolism in that other people can put on
weight just watching me eat just so that I can maintain my
weight. I eat double to triple the amount that others my size
do, just so I'm not loosing weight.

Three beer, at suppertime, & I'm home and hungover by 8pm,
and over that by 11pm. Not much incentive to have more than
one or two in a social setting. Anybody else like this with beer?

Cliffy

#11

Re: Beer..

Feb 5th, 2012

Quote: Originally Posted by shadowshiv

Not sure why that commercial was banned. It didn't seem that bad to me.

I can't understand why this was banned either:

--

DaSleeper

#12

Re: Beer..

Feb 5th, 2012

Quote: Originally Posted by Ron in Regina

Since we're on the subject of Beer. I've got a weird question.

When it comes to beer, I'm a lightweight. Three beer & I'm
hammered like the next guy drinking a dozen or more. I can
drink hard liquor in pretty much any volume without much
issue....but beer just kicks me in the arse.

It's not a bodyweight thing, as I'm 6'2" & 200lbs, & I know I
have a weird metabolism in that other people can put on
weight just watching me eat just so that I can maintain my
weight. I eat double to triple the amount that others my size
do, just so I'm not loosing weight.

Three beer, at suppertime, & I'm home and hungover by 8pm,
and over that by 11pm. Not much incentive to have more than
one or two in a social setting. Anybody else like this with beer?

I think it all depends on what you're used to drinking regularly....
You kind of build up an immunity....

Cliffy

#13

Re: Beer..

Feb 5th, 2012

When I first started drinking beer, I couldn't stand the taste. Always reminded me of a horse barn. Everyone said you have to aquire a taste for it. After several years, it still tasted like horse piss smells, so I quit drinking the stuff.

taxslave

#14

Re: Beer..

Feb 5th, 2012

Quote: Originally Posted by Cliffy

When I first started drinking beer, I couldn't stand the taste. Always reminded me of a horse barn. Everyone said you have to aquire a taste for it. After several years, it still tasted like horse piss smells, so I quit drinking the stuff.

Thats how I feel about scotch. Tastes like bottled $hit.
I've found that the higher quality imports like Becks that have no yeast or chemicals taste much better than North American swill.

gopher

#15

Re: Beer..

Feb 5th, 2012

Quote: Originally Posted by Ron in Regina

Since we're on the subject of Beer. I've got a weird question.

When it comes to beer, I'm a lightweight. Three beer & I'm
hammered like the next guy drinking a dozen or more. I can
drink hard liquor in pretty much any volume without much
issue....but beer just kicks me in the arse.

It's not a bodyweight thing, as I'm 6'2" & 200lbs, & I know I
have a weird metabolism in that other people can put on
weight just watching me eat just so that I can maintain my
weight. I eat double to triple the amount that others my size
do, just so I'm not loosing weight.

Three beer, at suppertime, & I'm home and hungover by 8pm,
and over that by 11pm. Not much incentive to have more than
one or two in a social setting. Anybody else like this with beer?

I used to have a friend from Puerto Rico who had a pooch who looked just like you. The pooch barked up a storm every day. But all my pal had to do was to give him a bowl of beer and he would mellow out. And he would sleep like a pup whenever he wolfed down a bowl of beer.

Yes, it seems that beer is both man's and pooch's best pal!

Ron in Regina

#16

Re: Beer..

Feb 5th, 2012

I've had a hung over Rotti in my house once (it was an accident, but
it happened). They're not very social. It never happened twice.

Back in the summer of 2007, I bought a 40lb crate of Banana's at an
auction. What do you do with 40lbs of Banana's on a Saturday in July?

We drank them. A long "come&go" deck party that lasted from early
afternoon to early morning. Sunday morning there was 9 Banana's left.

Anyway, back around midnight, another buddy stopped by with a case
of beer. Of coarse I blended him up a big mason jar of Banana blended
booze. Not liking bananas, he poured it into the dogs dish. There was
about 6oz of booze in each drink.

After a while I noticed his jar was empty, so I made him another. That also
ended up in the dogs dish. After a while I noticed that the dog was acting
erratically. We put two and two together. Tony didn't like bananas, so hadn't
even tried the drinks, and didn't realize he was liquoring up the Rottweiler.

It became his responsibility (which he accepted) to run the dog out'a steam
(using a laser pointer along the fenceline) as the dog was drunk and wanted
to wrastle...and wasn't doing well at governing himself (= kind of a dangerous,
but accidental situation). That dog chased that red dot 'till he was exhausted.
He wasn't a happy dog the next day. About 12+ onces of booze in maybe twenty
minutes, and no tollerance. Never happened twice.

gopher

#17

Re: Beer..

Feb 8th, 2012

banana's for pooches??? unthinkable!

beer is better!

L Gilbert

#18

Re: Beer..

Feb 9th, 2012

Quote: Originally Posted by Ron in Regina

Since we're on the subject of Beer. I've got a weird question.

When it comes to beer, I'm a lightweight. Three beer & I'm
hammered like the next guy drinking a dozen or more. I can
drink hard liquor in pretty much any volume without much
issue....but beer just kicks me in the arse.

It's not a bodyweight thing, as I'm 6'2" & 200lbs, & I know I
have a weird metabolism in that other people can put on
weight just watching me eat just so that I can maintain my
weight. I eat double to triple the amount that others my size
do, just so I'm not loosing weight.

Three beer, at suppertime, & I'm home and hungover by 8pm,
and over that by 11pm. Not much incentive to have more than
one or two in a social setting. Anybody else like this with beer?

Placebo effect?

Quote: Originally Posted by taxslave

Thats how I feel about scotch. Tastes like bottled $hit.
I've found that the higher quality imports like Becks that have no yeast or chemicals taste much better than North American swill.

Ditto that.

Quote: Originally Posted by gopher

I used to have a friend from Puerto Rico who had a pooch who looked just like you. The pooch barked up a storm every day. But all my pal had to do was to give him a bowl of beer and he would mellow out. And he would sleep like a pup whenever he wolfed down a bowl of beer.

Yes, it seems that beer is both man's and pooch's best pal!

Indeed. When I played rugby with the Kelowna Crows, one of the lads had a dog named "Suds". Sneaky little bugger would wander around getting pets and the occasional sip off someone's beer after games and practises, but if you sat your beer down within range, he'd tip it over and drink your beer. I think he was nothing but liver under his skin.

Quote: Originally Posted by Ron in Regina

I've had a hung over Rotti in my house once Never happened twice.

lol.

karrie

#19

Re: Beer..

Feb 9th, 2012

Quote: Originally Posted by Walter

I guess beer turns me into a lesbian because all the women get prettier with every beer I consume and I want to play with their body parts.

Sounds more like it turns out into a psycho killer

gopher

#20

Re: Beer..

Feb 9th, 2012

Quote:

When I played rugby with the Kelowna Crows, one of the lads had a dog named "Suds". Sneaky little bugger would wander around getting pets and the occasional sip off someone's beer after games and practises, but if you sat your beer down within range, he'd tip it over and drink your beer. I think he was nothing but liver under his skin.

GREAT story!

GreenFish66

#21

Re: Beer..

Feb 9th, 2012

Mmmm. Yes ..Beer .. I love it ...xoxo...ah ..yes..Love my beer...xxx
Damn this Emotional/Hormonal imbalance due to female additives..The stories from scientists must be true..

Last edited by GreenFish66; Feb 9th, 2012 at 09:36 PM..

shadowshiv

#22

Re: Beer..

Feb 9th, 2012

Quote: Originally Posted by Cliffy

I can't understand why this was banned either:

--

I've actually seen the version that's a few seconds longer. It has a disclaimer that the commercial isn't affilated with Skittles(or the company that makes them) at all. It's a hilarious "commercial" though!

"Taste my sweetness!" LOL!

Nuggler

#23

Re: Beer..

Feb 9th, 2012

Quote: Originally Posted by Ron in Regina

Since we're on the subject of Beer. I've got a weird question.

When it comes to beer, I'm a lightweight. Three beer & I'm
hammered like the next guy drinking a dozen or more. I can
drink hard liquor in pretty much any volume without much
issue....but beer just kicks me in the arse.

It's not a bodyweight thing, as I'm 6'2" & 200lbs, & I know I
have a weird metabolism in that other people can put on
weight just watching me eat just so that I can maintain my
weight. I eat double to triple the amount that others my size
do, just so I'm not loosing weight.

Three beer, at suppertime, & I'm home and hungover by 8pm,
and over that by 11pm. Not much incentive to have more than
one or two in a social setting. Anybody else like this with beer?

Just the opposite here.

Couple of shots of rye and I'm knackered. Vodka, not too bad.

Beer by the gallon since high school. Not that I do, but I can. Not in a long time, so maybe not anymore. We were a beer drinking crowd.

Sides, they finally got me convinced it's bad fer ya. Be a good liver or have one. Take yer pick.

gopher

#24

Re: Beer..

Feb 9th, 2012

Quote:

I guess beer turns me into a lesbian because all the women get prettier with every beer I consume and I want to play with their body parts.

Aha! So that was the formula used in Dr Jekyll and Sister Hyde!

Hammer made some of my favorite fright flicks - this was one of their best.

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