Mizz Barbie vows to whip City Hall into shape


spaminator
+1
#1
Mizz Barbie vows to whip City Hall into shape
By Mike Strobel ,Toronto Sun
First posted: Sunday, March 16, 2014 07:57 PM EDT | Updated: Sunday, March 16, 2014 08:47 PM EDT
Ever smoked crack cocaine? I inquire of our new wannabe mayor. It’s the first thing you ask these days.
“No,” replies candidate Carlie Ritch. “I don’t even drink much.”
Okay, ever horse-whipped a feller to within an inch of his life, blindfolded him, gagged him, spanked him, trussed him up, stuck pins in his nipples, stomped on him, spit on him and called him a dirty, mangy dog?
“Yes, why just yesterday...”
And the line between Toronto city council and sado-masochism gets even blurrier.
Carlie Ritch, 43, is better known as Mizz Barbie Bitch, a top pro dominatrix. She runs a busy dungeon downtown.
I bumped into her at the Everything To Do With Sex Show last fall. She wore ball-kicker boots and a Rob Ford button.
“I’m a Ford fan,” she told me, and later offered free advice to Rob on how he could be a better mayor.
Well, that’s like flogging a dead horse. A stubborn horse. Rob didn’t listen. So Mizz Bitch has gone the next step. She’s running for mayor.
“I’ll whip this city into shape,” is one of her campaign slogans. “I mean business” is the other.
Obediently, I shuffle down to Nathan Phillips Square for a campaign kickoff interview.
Tired of Ford’s NFL ties, John Tory’s blue shirts or Olivia Chow’s sensible shoes?
Mizz Bitch is dolled up in boss-lady pinstrips with metal spiked shoulders, a peekaboo blouse and those ball-kickin’ boots.
“I’m a warrior,” she says. “I’ll change things at City Hall.”
These are heady times for Mizz Bitch. She’s landed a regular gig on the new Todd Shapiro show on SiriusXM radio. Dragons’ Den is looking at her proposal to open a string of dominatrix schools.
Plus, business is booming at her dungeon. I am shocked — shocked! — to hear she even has clients from City Hall.
Please, PLEASE, tell me it’s Adam Vaughan. He’s looking a little whipped these days.
“Never met the man,” she says, “though I do live in his ward.” So who?
“I’ll never tell. What you do on your own time is nobody’s business.”
She’s a woman after Rob Ford’s heart, alright. “It’s not against the law to get drunk,” she says.
But the combative incumbent’s “arrogance and abuse of power” has ticked her off. And when a dominatrix says you’re too abusive...
Hence, the campaign. A website is to launch Monday and she plans to register at City Hall later this week — as Carlie Ritch — with adviser and former perennial candidate Enza “Supermodel” Anderson in tow.
I can’t imagine the vote-splitting needed for a Mizz Barbie Bitch victory. The rise of Bitch Nation, maybe?
But if she wins, first she’d “clean house.
“Councillors who’ve been there, like, 30 years, have got to go. Any (bureaucrats) not doing their job will be re-assigned or moved out.
“Being a dominatrix gives you the confidence for that.”
She’d put tolls on the Gardiner to pay to revamp it. She’d turn old Ontario Place into a music showcase, including the Metronome project. She’d cut the 44-member city council in half. She’d expand the island airport. She’d respect the taxpayer, just like that other guy.
“I’m a fixer, not a spender.” She says Olivia Chow “spends money on frivolous things” and John Tory is “elitist.”
As for scandals spoiling her regime as mayor, she insists, “I don’t have any skeletons in my closet.
“I AM the skeleton.”
She hastens to add her dominatrix schtick involves “absolutely no sex. Don’t even ask.”
She has a Doberman, two grown kids and, believe it or not, a grandson.
“I’m a single mom and I’ve worked for everything I have. I’m really that blue-collar, normal, ordinary person.”
Ordinary? Yes, Mizz Bitch, if you say so.
So the main horses — Ford, Chow, Tory, Karen Stintz, David Soknacki — are off and running in the mayoral race.
Now, we have the spurs and crop.
Strobel’s city column usually runs Monday to Thursday. mike.strobel@sunmedia.ca (external - login to view)

Mizz Barbie vows to whip City Hall into shape | Home | Toronto Sun (external - login to view)
 
El Barto
+1
#2
Going to love to see how far she gets
 
spaminator
#3
Dominatrix Mizz Barbie Bitch enters mayoral race
By Don Peat ,City Hall Bureau Chief
First posted: Thursday, March 20, 2014 03:54 PM EDT | Updated: Thursday, March 20, 2014 05:19 PM EDT
Toronto’s mayoral race is about to get a dose of discipline.
Dominatrix Mizz Barbie Bitch aka Carlie Ritch registered to run for mayor on Thursday and promised to whip the city into shape.
“I’m just the same as you, I’m just the same as them however unfortunately they seem to have forgotten that and they’ve run amuck on so many things,” Ritch told reporters at City Hall after filing her nomination papers.

Dominatrix Mizz Barbie Bitch enters mayoral race | Toronto & GTA | News | Toronto Sun (external - login to view)
 
Tecumsehsbones
+4
#4  Top Rated Post
If you Canadians (well, Torontonians) have any sense of irony or poetry in your souls at all, you'll elect this woman.

She's actually kinda cute. . .
 
55Mercury
#5
Quote: Originally Posted by TecumsehsbonesView Post

If you Canadians (well, Torontonians) have any sense of irony or poetry in your souls at all, you'll elect this woman.

She's actually kinda cute. . .

here here!
 
WLDB
No Party Affiliation
#6
The debate will be entertaining.
 
taxslave
No Party Affiliation
+1
#7
ANy chance of a good tongue lashing?
 
El Barto
+1
#8
Quote: Originally Posted by WLDBView Post

The debate will be entertaining.

How do I fit the word Master in this line ?
 
WLDB
No Party Affiliation
+1
#9
Quote: Originally Posted by El BartoView Post

How do I fit the word Master in this line ?

Watching it at home alone perhaps?
 
El Barto
+1
#10
Quote: Originally Posted by WLDBView Post

Watching it at home alone perhaps?

How does one clean a flat screen again?
 
#juan
No Party Affiliation
#11
Quote: Originally Posted by TecumsehsbonesView Post

If you Canadians (well, Torontonians) have any sense of irony or poetry in your souls at all, you'll elect this woman.

She's actually kinda cute. . .

There's a good reason to vote for someone; "She's kind of cute". On the other hand, I would rather vote for a blind Cocker Spanial than Ford any day.
 
Tecumsehsbones
#12
Quote: Originally Posted by #juanView Post

There's a good reason to vote for someone; "She's kind of cute". On the other hand, I would rather vote for a blind Cocker Spanial than Ford any day.

The fact that I mentioned her looks in the same post in which I advocated voting for her does not, in itself, mean that her looks are the reason I so advocate.

But, do continue jumping to conclusions, it's good exercise.
 
Nuggler
+1
#13
Quote: Originally Posted by #juanView Post

There's a good reason to vote for someone; "She's kind of cute". On the other hand, I would rather vote for a blind Cocker Spanial than Ford any day.

Cocker Spaniels are a whole lot nicer, probably don't do drugs, ..........and c um when you call them...........oh shyte, sorry. my bad.
 
Locutus
+1
#14
I have the strangest boner right now.
 
El Barto
+3
#15
Quote: Originally Posted by NugglerView Post

Cocker Spaniels are a whole lot nicer, probably don't do drugs, ..........and c um when you call them...........oh shyte, sorry. my bad.

I am sure she will hump your leg too
 
L Gilbert
No Party Affiliation
#16
Quote: Originally Posted by TecumsehsbonesView Post

If you Canadians (well, Torontonians) have any sense of irony or poetry in your souls at all, you'll elect this woman.

She's actually kinda cute. . .

lol I'd consider voting for her.

Quote: Originally Posted by LocutusView Post

I have the strangest boner right now.

Why'z it the strangest? Did it change shape or turn green or something? (just a yes or no would do, details are TMI).
 
Locutus
+1
#17
Shoulda been 'weirdest' but I missed my meme man. Sorry.

It just felt right at the time c u m to think of it.

I Have The Weirdest Boner | Know Your Meme (external - login to view)
Last edited by Locutus; Mar 21st, 2014 at 04:05 PM..
 
55Mercury
+1
#18
I sing John Denver's Sunshine a little weird maybe...

Sunshine on my boner makes me happy!

:?D
 
L Gilbert
No Party Affiliation
#19
Geeeeeeeeeez. Thought I said details were TMI.
 
55Mercury
#20
Quote: Originally Posted by L GilbertView Post

Geeeeeeeeeez. Thought I said details were TMI.

I know, I know... less is more.
 
Locutus
#21
less is gilbert, roger is moore.
 
Tecumsehsbones
#22
Quote: Originally Posted by L GilbertView Post

Why'z it the strangest? Did it change shape or turn green or something? (just a yes or no would do, details are TMI).

Probably that it's in response to a fairly normal human woman.
 
shadowshiv
Free Thinker
#23
Quote: Originally Posted by spaminatorView Post

Dominatrix Mizz Barbie Bitch enters mayoral race
By Don Peat ,City Hall Bureau Chief
First posted: Thursday, March 20, 2014 03:54 PM EDT | Updated: Thursday, March 20, 2014 05:19 PM EDT
Toronto’s mayoral race is about to get a dose of discipline.
Dominatrix Mizz Barbie Bitch aka Carlie Ritch registered to run for mayor on Thursday and promised to whip the city into shape.
“I’m just the same as you, I’m just the same as them however unfortunately they seem to have forgotten that...

Quote has been trimmed, See full post: View Post
She reminds a little of Anna Silk (she plays Bo on the television show 'Lost Girl').



(works better with the picture actually showing)
 
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