Teddy Bear Grief

[Retired_Can_Soldier]

Before I put down my thoughts on this I am going to preface it with the following. When Jack Layton passed away I was saddened, not because I held him up on any pedestal, but because I have followed his career for a number of years right up to his victory over the Liberals in bringing the NDP to official opposition status. Since his passing there have been many well wishers from all corners of politics and there has been a great outpouring of emotion regarding his death. To see Olivia Chow standing at his coffin certainly invokes the memory of a grief we have all faced at some point in our lives.

What I don't understand is the people who are crying, displaying what has been deemed Teddy Bear Grief. This is not a new phenomena, the death of Princess Dianna had a similar effect. People caught up in the celebrity of an individual who was struck down seemingly in the prime of their life and built up by the media as a saint. For the people who are crying (I mean really crying) openly over Jack Layton's passing I have to ask, "why?"

Are you caught up in the celebrity of his death. Did you know him personally? Do you really believe that he is the wonderful political bridge builder? What is the the draw? Why does the public get swept up in an event like this, but act indifferently when 18,000 Japanese are wiped out by a tsunami. (Remember them?)

People lined up for hours to bid farewell to Jack Layton, cried openly on the news as if he was their oldest friend when in all honesty most probably only knew him from news bits on CBC, CTV or any other affiliate that carried politics. This public grieving is puzzling when you think that we barely blinked at the massacre in Oslo only a bit over a month ago.

Human nature is very strange and this new collective grief is even more puzzling. No doubt this Op will anger some, but I am not insulting Jack Layton or throwing stones at a funeral. I am looking at the public at large and trying to understand how they can be spun into a collective grief while so many others go to to their grave without a second thought.

My condolence to the Laytons and may they come through these very difficult times.

 

[SLM]

Well, speaking for myself I was saddened by his passing, for reasons I stated in another thread. But weeping in the street, not so much. Don't get me wrong, I was moved by what I saw of his kids eulogies. I did empathize with them losing their father.

I think people get caught up in the sensation maybe sometimes. And as far as Jack goes, maybe he was taken for granted a little bit? I mean he's been around forever in Canadian politics in one way or another. So we're kind of used to seeing him around, it is almost like we know him. And when someone passes we always seem to instinctively reflect on all the good about them, anything less would be rather tackless.

So maybe it's a combination of sort of feeling a bit of a loss and also getting swept up in the media storm, so to speak.

And I did shed a few tears over Oslo, and I wept when the twin towers fell almost 10 years ago. I suspect a few people did, but there's no cameras around and also no focus for the public like a funeral to make it more obvious.

I get what you're saying though, it does seem a little "phoney" for lack of a better term.

 

[WLDB]

I was one of the people who openly wept when he died. I did it alone though. After the shock wore off and I could tell I wouldn't be able to fight the tears any longer I went into the stair well of the apartment and cried for several minutes. As I stood in front of his coffin on Parliament Hill it was incredibly difficult for me to remain composed. I asked myself the questions you are asking now. I met him once, briefly, during the last campaign. Still, I've had relatives die for whom I've been a little upset but didn't weep for. With Jack i think it was because he was a real nice guy who has been a regular feature in many people's lives for nearly a decade on the national scene and much longer for those in Toronto even if only on TV. He was a very inspiring man. As you can see on my profile I am a member of the NDP, that doesnt mean Jack could do no wrong in my eyes, I've criticized him far more than most people I know who identify as New Democrats. I think both I and others have wept not just for the man but what he represented. Diana also was not the first, look at the assassinations of the Kennedy's, MLK jr, Trudeau's death 10 years ago.

The people you mention dying in the tsunami were for those of us who didnt know them were nameless faces. I feel upset and get semi-emotional when I read of a murder or other death in the news headlines. As Stalin would say, "One death is a tragedy, a million a statistic". Its far easier to identify with one person than hundreds or thousands.

 

[Retired_Can_Soldier]

Yes, the Kennedy's come to mind, as well. I suppose these people become a part of our identity, whether we like them or not and when they are gone, we feel we have lost something. I still find it somewhat perplexing though.

 

[Locutus]

The first I recall of this type of mass spectacle was after Elvis died.

Diana set it off though. Mass displays and people acting as-if. As if they were close, that they knew them or wanted to know them.

Symbiotic codependent grief or something. The media play along because I'm sure there is some level of fear of public judgment if they don't. It's also good for ratings. It's expected now. They feed off one another. In my mind it's not healthy but to each to their own.

I didn't know any of these people nor did I weep. I wouldn't attend any of these maudlin functions either.

I feel for his family. That's my limit. I don't even know them but I can identify with their feelings.

Just wait until the Queen goes. We'll have never seen the likes.

 

[lone wolf]

For me, I lived it five years ago when my ex-wife's cancer came back to claim her after a four year remission. I wasn't kidding in a post during the election when I offered up some heroics for Jack. Something in his too-jubilant gait told me the disease wasn't done toying with him. Though somewhat shocked by his appearance when he stepped down, it really came as no surprise. Tears? Some. A man who cares for people ahead of himself is a man worthy of respectful tears. No, I didn't know Jack personally ... but he was one of the rare few I would have a beer with.

 

[SLM]

I'm wondering if we did have public funerals for victims of large natural disasters or victims of murdering bastards like in Oslo, would we see similar public outpourings of grief?

Just a thought, as I am now pondering the nature of grief.

 

[gerryh]

Ah yes, now let's question the motives behind someones grief.

 

[DaSleeper]

Would this be Teddybear tears???????

Clinton leaving Ron Brown funeral - YouTube

 

[Cliffy]

When you watch or listen to the News, it is hard to find hope in the future, for humanity. With war, greed and environmental degradation, hope seemed lost for many. Jack was a passionate man who inspired and gave hope when many have lost it. Diana too. I think the grief had a lot to do with his dying words. He rose above the crowd, above the inevitability of his own demise and held out hope to the hopeless, love to the unloved, the promise of better days ahead for those who could not see it. They grieve for the loss they feel because for many, in those dying moments, he reached out and touched so many hearts and challenged them to dare to envision a better future for themselves and Canada. He was a champion of the little guy, an icon. People grieve for their loss and I think many feel a great loss, personal and collectively. I do not find this surprising at all, in a time where champions are so rare and few and far between.

 

[JLM]

I guess the first public figure who's death affected me greatly was J.F.K., I was 20 years old and at work when we got the sad news. I can remember being in a funk for the entire day, as you get older and more used to seeing people you know or know of die, it affects you less. Of course back in 1963 everyone just thought J.F.K. was the greatest. With Layton I think a lot of young people probably feel as I did then. Princess Diana's death also came as a great shock too, of course the younger the person the harder one tends to take it. When Kadaffy meets his maker I'm predicting the shock will be slightly less. :smile:

 

[Mowich]

I cried when I saw Olivia standing alone by the coffin of her husband, my heart went out to her. So young to lose a beloved mate, so many years ahead without him. It was to me one of the most moving of moments.

I am disturbed by over-the-top public expressions of grief - its probably the conservative in me. I question the sincerity of it. Some of the folks I saw interviewed by the CBC were sobbing for pete's sake and when questioned about their relationship with Jack Layton, had never met the man, did not vote for him, probably would not have ever voted for him but still thought he was a grand guy. Well there you go - what can one say to that.

 

[petros]

An equally intriguing point is why do so many get furious over politics?

 

[JLM]

An equally intriguing point is why do so many get furious over politics?

I'm betting it's insecurity, same thing with the Union fanatics. :lol:

 

[Durry]

I am disturbed by over-the-top public expressions of grief - its probably the conservative in me. I question the sincerity of it. Some of the folks I saw interviewed by the CBC were sobbing for pete's sake and when questioned about their relationship with Jack Layton, had never met the man, did not vote for him, probably would not have ever voted for him but still thought he was a grand guy. Well there you go - what can one say to that.

Yep, a lot of lefties out there to pay their respect and wonder who will look after their interests now!!

Just wondering when it will be CBC's turn ??

 

[gerryh]

Yep, a lot of lefties out there to pay their respect and wonder who will look after their interests now!!

Just wondering when it will be CBC's turn ??

Just wondering when it will be your turn.

 

[Bar Sinister]

It's simple enough, Bill. The death of thousands is too much for the average human to grasp. But people can understand the death of one at a personal level, as most people have experienced the death of a loved one. Even so, I was rather surprised at the reaction to Layton's death. True, he was a decent human being, but the incredible show of support for the man and his family, especially from those who do not normally vote left of centre was quite unusual. Clearly Mr. Layton and his struggle captured the imagination and sympathy of the average Canadian.

 

[petros]

Just wondering when it will be your turn.

When he has to pay full price for Risperidone?

 

[Cliffy]

It's simple enough, Bill. The death of thousands is too much for the average human to grasp. But people can understand the death of one at a personal level, as most people have experienced the death of a loved one. Even so, I was rather surprised at the reaction to Layton's death. True, he was a decent human being, but the incredible show of support for the man and his family, especially from those who do not normally vote left of centre was quite unusual. Clearly Mr. Layton and his struggle captured the imagination and sympathy of the average Canadian.

I'm sure many were caught by surprise when he announced his stepping down, how gaunt he was. Just a few weeks after looking like he was recovering, winning the official opposition. His deterioration was so swift. One minute they celebrated his political and his health victory, the next he was gone. Makes people take a hard look at their own mortality and that is very scary.

Yep, a lot of lefties out there to pay their respect and wonder who will look after their interests now!!

Just wondering when it will be CBC's turn ??

You are going to have to use bigger and better bait if you want to be good at trolling this forum. You may have to go back to troll kindergarten.

 

[WLDB]

Yep, a lot of lefties out there to pay their respect and wonder who will look after their interests now!!

Just wondering when it will be CBC's turn ??

I have decided that from now on I am going to ignore you completely. When I see your name, I will skip the post completely. You have not once added something constructive to any discussion. I'm tempted to say quite a few other things but will not. You aren't worth my time or effort.

I must say I take slight offence at the implication that any grief I have shown is "fake" or not real. I imagine many others would too. If you don't get it, that's one thing. Accusing others of faking it is quite another thing. For those of us who either shared Jack's beliefs or had a chance to meet him this was big shock and is a loss as he will no longer be there. I didn't particularly care when Michael Jackson died, but I did not question the grief of those who mourned him, for whatever reason. It's quite difficult, if not impossible to fake the mourning of someone's death.