Naked, drinkin' wine

Murphy

Executive Branch Member
Apr 12, 2013
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Ontario
Naked, drinkin' wine

R U Feelin' Groovy?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWBvcJAXwu4

Last summer, me and Ma was sittin'on the back deck, enjoyin' the night air. We had the local radio station playin' in the background. The music was normally good, but that night, well, it plain sucked. The DJ was monotone, sounded tired and was generally depressin'. Anyway, I got tired of listenin' to him after a few minutes, so I phoned the station. When he answered, I said,

"Listen, even if you don't want to be there, your job is playin' music and makin' people feel good. It's about bein' upbeat and passionate and stuff, you dumb sh!t! If I want to be depressed, I'll turn on the CBC!"

He didn't say nothin'. I even thought the fellow hung up on me until he started coughin'. Then he said,

"Emily died today. She was only 8. I'm having a hard time right now."

So I said, "Who's Emily?"

He sobbed and told me it was his cat.

I started laughin', and asked if he would play something by Cat Stevens, or 'Wanderin' Star', from the movie Cat Ballou. After he stopped sobbin' a second time, I figured it was time to get back to business, so I told him,

"Play some good, old fashioned rock 'n hole music! And pull yourself together, for God's sake!"

I hung up and walked back to the chaise lounge, chucklin'. Ma smiled and poured me another tumbler of Cellar Cask. I swear, nothin' beats wine by the box! What could be better than sittin' outside on a warm summer night, in the all together, with a cool drink?

The night before, we seen a band at the casino that played 1960s rock hits. Their audience was old geezers who were busy spendin' their kid's inheritance.

These fellows wasn't famous musicians themselves though. But they was very talented and played everything exactly the same as the bands of my youth. They played a lot of Fred Zeppelin, the Bleach Boys, Jeep Purple, Melvis and a bunch of others.

Ma kept yellin' at the lead singer that she wanted some 'satisfaction'. Then she threw a bra at him. Ma always brings a plastic bag of them, whenever we go to a concert. He caught it and smiled. I remembered thinkin' that he looked a lot like that skinny, British rocker that wore the tight pants - with a face that could stop a train - Dick Jagger.

And what was the name of that '60s rockin’ holer what married the Japanese opera singer, Yoko Bono? I think he played guitar in a band too. John Lemon maybe? He was okay, but Yoko? I could never warm up to her. Whenever she sang, it sounded like she was squeezin’ cats for the juice...

Ma says Yoko had a child with a Caucasian fellow of Irish decent. Must have been that Lemon guy. Her son started a band called 'You too'. That's an odd name, don't you think?

I like rock, but was partial to folk singers - Crosly, Spills and Nats, Rob Dylan, Peter, Paul and Larry, and that Canadian fellow, Johnny Mitchell. He sung that song ‘Free Man with Parrots’

I was a free man with parrots,
I felt unfeathered and alive!
Nobody was callin' me up for favours
And no one's sutures to re-tie

Thanks for listenin' to my ramblin'.
 

MHz

Time Out
Mar 16, 2007
41,030
43
48
Red Deer AB
Wait a minute, we ain't done yet, What could he have said to make you choke and say 'Carry on.' (I would guess changing cat to daughter would do it) Naming a child you had lost would sit you down for the whole night.
 

personal touch

House Member
Sep 17, 2014
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Wait a minute, we ain't done yet, What could he have said to make you choke and say 'Carry on.' (I would guess changing cat to daughter would do it) Naming a child you had lost would sit you down for the whole night.
not picking up your drift,explain some more so my thick head can get what your talking about.
 

Murphy

Executive Branch Member
Apr 12, 2013
8,181
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36
Ontario
We're just about done.

My neighbour could see the deck lights on and decided to come over. We enjoy his company. He likes wine by the box too.

His place is about a 1/4 of a mile from ours, but you can see him comin' because he carries a lantern when he's walkin' in the dark.

"Howdy neighbour! You must be stayin' for a while. You brung two boxes of wine."

He nodded, but didn't say nothin'. He had a far away look on his face, and it looked like he had been cryin'.

"Somethin' wrong, Norrie?" Norrie was short for Norbert, but I don't know why. It takes just as long to say and to spell his nickname as it does just to say Norbert.

"Yeah, there is. I got a phone call this afternoon. My...oh, do you mind if I take my clothes off? I can't stand anything on my skin."

I said no problem. Norrie got undressed and continued his story.

"You remember my step son Little Norrie? He died this afternoon. He stepped on a mine."

"Ah no...That's awful! How's the wife takin' it? She didn't want him to go overseas."

Little Norrie was with the Cdn Children's Fund in Africa. He went with some doctors and othe volunteers to help save the children there.

Norrie said, "You know, Verna loved Little Norrie since the first day I brought him home, when he was a kid."

I felt kinda bad.

"Anyhow, I liked him too when he was little, but as he got older and started getting into trouble, well, the love died.The vet warned me this would happen. I'm just glad him and Verma had some good years together."

All I could say was, "I guess..."

"But things have worked out. He's gone and I expect them African children will eat well. Goat is a delicacy in Africa."

Yep, it was sad. Norrie and Verna couldn't have any children, so they adopted a goat from the shelter. It was a shame that he got blown up, but heck, at least there was enough left of him to get a meal...
 

MHz

Time Out
Mar 16, 2007
41,030
43
48
Red Deer AB
What could he have said that would have made you hang up the phone and tell 'Ma' that he had a good reason to be more than a little blue? (and that you were fine with it and tuned in another station)
 

Murphy

Executive Branch Member
Apr 12, 2013
8,181
0
36
Ontario
If he told me he worked for Mothercorp (the CBC). I wouldn't have been fine with it, but I would have given him the number for the suicide prevention hotline.
 

Curious Cdn

Hall of Fame Member
Feb 22, 2015
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When I saw the title, I was figurin' that Murphy just got tasered on TTC streetcar, last night.
 

Murphy

Executive Branch Member
Apr 12, 2013
8,181
0
36
Ontario
No streetcars here. No busses. No high rises. Just fields and ponies and corn and the blessedness of Zu-lang, Contendra and Fiss the River Talker.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSiDB1lkwZg
 

Curious Cdn

Hall of Fame Member
Feb 22, 2015
37,070
6
36
No streetcars here. No busses. No high rises. Just fields and ponies and corn and the blessedness of Zu-lang, Contendra and Fiss the River Talker.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSiDB1lkwZg
LSD 25 is still around, eh?
 

Curious Cdn

Hall of Fame Member
Feb 22, 2015
37,070
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Hmmmm.... fusel poisoning ...

The next thing you know, you may write another gospel for the Bible.
 

Murphy

Executive Branch Member
Apr 12, 2013
8,181
0
36
Ontario
Yes, but don't tell the RCMP. I have to call in favours all the time to keep them off my "ranch" in BC.