New Book - Offbeat Outdoor Tales

[Murphy]

is released today as a Kindle ebook. La merde aux yeux!

US - http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JP0C7QQ
Canada - http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00JP0C7QQ

Elsewhere - search your local amazon - Offbeat Outdoor Tales

Offbeat Outdoor Tales

Stephen Redgwell is best known for his books on Lee Enfields and military rifle cartridges. In his spare time however, he writes articles for newspapers and monthly magazines. Unlike his technical work, his fictional stories are humourous, offbeat looks at life and the outdoors.

Steve once said that in his next life he would like to come back as a newspaper editor. While waiting to be reincarnated, he created the fictional Nugget chain of papers, just so he could control and write his own material. It turned out better than expected - some of his work has been published in Cdn Sports Shooting Magazine, the Lee Enfield Digest and Metroland Media, just to name a few.

If you like to sit around the campfire and swap tall tales, you'll like this compilation. Steve writes in an easy to read, informal style that's sure to make you laugh. Whether you're young or old, a boy or a girl, a sports nut or just someone that likes to kick back and relax, there's something for everyone.

From Steve: Please take a minute to check the table of contents. This collection of stories won't change the world, but you'll smile...and that's a start. What do you really know about outhouses, hamburger eating Martians, hunting in the nude, or trees that grow garbage? What about Internet experts or the differences between Canadians and Americans? These are just a few of the subjects covered in this new collection of short stories.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Gel-O Bullets
Grampa’s Garbage Tree
The Nugget Community News, Op-Ed - Good Manners
The Nugget Community News, Op-Ed - Electro Hunters
John Ashley Huntington Dudley O'Hare
Odd Rhyming Thing

Nelford’s New Trailer
Bobby and the Martians
The Nugget Community News - Are You Too Young or Too Old?
The Nugget Community News - Always Carry a Personal Fire Extinguisher!
Steve’s Random Thoughts on Saving Your Hunting Memories
Jailbreak at Shawshank!
The Devil and the Outhouse

The Naked Mr. Gumby
For New Hunters and Shooters Only - Learning from the Internets
The Nugget Community News - Progress Ain’t So Great!
The Nugget Community News, Op-Ed - Olympic Glory in Sochi – Canadians Love Ice
A Poem for the Blind
Almost Too Dead

Gramps
A Conversation with Jack O’Connor
The North Montana Nugget, Op-Ed - What is it about Canadians?
The North Montana Nugget, Op-Ed - A Minute with Randy Mooney, Off Topic
Can Jack Go Home?
Overheard on the Bus

The Hunt Camp Freeloader
Enjoy the Great Outdoors While You Can – It’s Gonna ‘Splode!
The Nugget Community News, Op-Ed - It’s Calving Time!
The Nugget Community News, Op-Ed - I Hate Ice Cream!

At the Campfire With Bill and Joe
Fishin’ at the Dam
Lard Boat!
The Nugget Community News, Op-Ed - The Bog
Bullet Balm

Why I Don't Hunt with No School Teachers!

 

[Murphy]

Ottawa

Have ye visited this corrosive city?
Do ye live near this consumptive cesspit? This unhygienic, stinking boil that steadily festers, tainting everything?
This banebul blight that stains the once fair Ottawa?
The reek wouldst peel thy dermis and leave it as mung!
Gunk and spunk!
A rotting hunk of steaming junk (thanx James)

But first,

The National Film Board​

In association with the CBC and Clovis Budge
(of Hell's Harbour, NFLD - note the use of the old short form)​

A Smarrt Arsed North Shore Production​

In cooperation with One Gifted Liberal
(Yes, there is one. Just one.)​

And the Canadian Aboriginal Philharmonic Drummers and Throat Singers​

presents​

A Yves et Ghislain McIntosh-Jones Production​

in association with the Ontario Artz Council of Manitoba​

From an original work by some famous Canadian writer
(who moved south where the money is)​

And Lady with a Squirrel Effects​

Kemptville or Bedell?

South of Ottawa, not Ficko!
Past Manotick and Greely
Beneath Enniskerry, Carsonby and Kars
Is a smallish place called Kemptville
Where the people dream of riding
On the Rideau
In the summer
When It's warm

Away from all the nonsense
That is Ottawa and Hull
Where politicians argue non-stop
'Bout it all
The old folks, out of boredom
Discuss the importance of the boundaries
Do you live in Kemptville or Bedell?

And should a wayward Senator
Get confused and end up lost somewhow
Where 43 and 44 intersect the town
You can bet he'll be directed
By some oldster on the Rideau
Towards the water
On fair Prescott
Farther down

So just remember if you go there
And your job is somehow tethered
To the windbags that live north of this small town
Say nothing! Do not speak!
Or you'll not last out the week
'Cause they'll take you to the river
To be drowned!